Who is this man that has captured my heart
That has captured my soul
That has captured me whole
Who is this man that has incited my love
Who has produced this notion
Of my eternal devotion
His love overcomes me like a great tidal wave
His embrace soothes me like oil on my skin
His strength comforts me like soft spoken words
His eyes pierce through my soul like a sword
His touch sends shivers down my spine
His mind reads my heart like an open book
There is no length he wouldn't run
There is no height he wouldn't climb
There is no measure he wouldn't take
His passion is incomparable
His faith is unshakable
His wisdom is undeniable
He is the wind beneath my wings
He is the blood with in my viens
He is the only one who can see my transparent heart
This man I have never met
This man I have never seen
This man I have never spoken to...
But this man is waiting for me!
Monday, July 12, 2010
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Seeing God through the Clouds!
We have all seen these hidden beauties that hang in the sky watching over us all with their grand magnificence, somehow eluding their well-deserved recognition. These wondrous entities I am referring to are clouds. However, clouds are much more then that; clouds remind us of our great and glorious God. Clouds, being one of the most unique and diverse creations of nature, can be an extremely effective means of revealing God’s diversity, sovereignty, and glory.
First and foremost, clouds, just like God, are nothing if not diverse. Year-round we witness nature transforming the basic cloud types into an unending show of shapes and colors. This in and of itself reflects God’s diversity, for the creator of these unique and original clouds, we know, must be capable of so much more. But not only are clouds diverse and unique, but also extremely vast, stretching across the entire sky.
Clouds are extraordinary examples of God’s sovereignty. They cover the skies around the world all at once, resembling God’s omnipresence. Also clouds help us predict coming weather changes, just as God prepares our hearts for upcoming storms by placing various signs throughout our lives. Being a continual reminder of God’s sovereignty, clouds give us an even greater sense of wonder at the glory of our God.
God’s glory surpasses all understanding, and though incomparable, clouds are still an excellent representation of God’s greatness. Some clouds are awe-inspiring entities, brilliantly embodying God’s glory. And others are massive, overwhelming entities that overcome us with a sense of God’s greatness. But it is the times when they leave you speechless that we know we are witnessing a true representation of God’s awesome glory.
Being one of the most unique and diverse creations of nature, clouds can be an extremely effective means of revealing God’s diversity, sovereignty, and glory. We can clearly see how similar clouds are to God and how greatly they represent many of His characteristics. And now having this new found understanding, I hope we can also have a new found appreciation for those hidden beauties that hang in the sky, waiting to be recognized for all that they are.
Love...why, why not?
Love,
Desparately needed
Painfully lacked
Why?
So abundant, yet so scarce
Something that flows so freelly
Yet, is absent with the most in need
Selfishness, ignorance, insensitivity
Excuses, rationalisations, blind-eyes turned
No one cares, no one notices, no one acknowledges...
It's still there
Why?
Why not?
Why not reach out?
Why not care?
Why not be self-sacrificing?
Why not love?
To be loved
To be accepted
To be comforted
Why not???
Why not now?
True beauty...
"Your whole life you are developing your inner beauty. And with as much effort that you put into your inner beauty, as it unravels, it will amplify your outer beauty that much more!"What is true beauty? Is it how pretty your face is, how nice of hair you have, how lovely your eyes are? Is beauty really dependent solely on a person’s outward appearance, or is it more than that? Is it possible that a person’s true beauty is actually dependant on more of what’s inside of them than on what’s outside? I think so.
I believe that true beauty springs more so from a person’s inner beauty than their outer. When a person spends more of their time concentrating on developing their inner characteristics instead of their outer, then that generates a beauty far greater and far more durable then any superficial, limited, outer characteristics could ever generate. When a person is beautiful on the inside, it radiates through out their countenance and can even enhance their outward appearance to others. But we can never know a person’s true inner beauty, or lack there of, unless we are willing to look past their outward appearance and see what’s really inside of them.
Also on another note, throughout the entire Bible, God praises our inner beauty above all else. Kindness, gentleness, humbleness, generosity, courageousness, confidence, these are the types of characteristics that God tells us that we should work towards and strive for. Achieving these kinds of personal accomplishments is what allows us to live truly happy and satisfying lives. This is what helps us to become more like God everyday. When we die and go to heaven, we will never hear anyone praising us because of how beautiful we looked or because of how our outward beauty caused people to just adore us. But what we will hear is how our inner beauty affected others; how our kindness and generosity inspired others and caused them to start a chain reaction of good deeds themselves. When we concentrate our focus on our inner beauty instead of our outer, we open the door to allowing God to work through those characteristics to change lives and to further the kingdom of heaven. And that is a goal worth living for!
The Longings of My Heart
I LONG for YOU
I LONG for MORE
I LONG for the LOVE that I ADORE
I NEED you HERE
I NEED you NOW
I NEED you to SHOW me exactly HOW
I CRAVE your LOV
I CRAVE your GRACE
I CRAVE your PRESENCE here in this PLACE
YOU are the AIR that I BREATHE
YOU are the HOPE that I NEED
YOU are EVERYTHING to ME
And I CANNOT LIVE without your LOVE
And I CANNOT STAND without your STRENGTH
And I CANNOT HOPE without your FAITH
THESE are the LONGINGS of my HEART
THESE are the LONGINGS of my LIFE
THESE are the LONGINGS that I LONG
Because YOU paid the ULTIMATE PRICE!!!
I LONG for MORE
I LONG for the LOVE that I ADORE
I NEED you HERE
I NEED you NOW
I NEED you to SHOW me exactly HOW
I CRAVE your LOV
I CRAVE your GRACE
I CRAVE your PRESENCE here in this PLACE
YOU are the AIR that I BREATHE
YOU are the HOPE that I NEED
YOU are EVERYTHING to ME
And I CANNOT LIVE without your LOVE
And I CANNOT STAND without your STRENGTH
And I CANNOT HOPE without your FAITH
THESE are the LONGINGS of my HEART
THESE are the LONGINGS of my LIFE
THESE are the LONGINGS that I LONG
Because YOU paid the ULTIMATE PRICE!!!
Monday, July 5, 2010
What is TRUE beauty?
The age-old question of women from everytime and every place,
Women everywhere want to feel beautiful!
But what comprises true beauty???
Some say rich, shiny, gorgeous hair
Others say a pretty face
You could even say an attractive physique
But none of those are TRUE beauty...
These things I have listed they appeal to man's flesh
But TRUE beauty is sooo much more!
TRUE beauty comes from within...
It comes from a kind heart
From a humble soul
From selfless love
From a gracious spirit
TRULY beautiful women are not petty
Are not immature
They do not gossip
They are not jealous of their sisters in Christ
TRULY beautiful women read the Bible daily
They seek after God's heart
They long to know and love Him more
They despise the fleshly pleasures of this world
They stand for truth and righteousness
And they have enough self-respect to guard their heart from those who should not be trusted wth such a precious gem.
Do not be deceived by pretty faces and flattering words
Because it is what is beneath the skin, on the inside of their hearts
That TRULY reflects a woman's TRUE beauty!
Women everywhere want to feel beautiful!
But what comprises true beauty???
Some say rich, shiny, gorgeous hair
Others say a pretty face
You could even say an attractive physique
But none of those are TRUE beauty...
These things I have listed they appeal to man's flesh
But TRUE beauty is sooo much more!
TRUE beauty comes from within...
It comes from a kind heart
From a humble soul
From selfless love
From a gracious spirit
TRULY beautiful women are not petty
Are not immature
They do not gossip
They are not jealous of their sisters in Christ
TRULY beautiful women read the Bible daily
They seek after God's heart
They long to know and love Him more
They despise the fleshly pleasures of this world
They stand for truth and righteousness
And they have enough self-respect to guard their heart from those who should not be trusted wth such a precious gem.
Do not be deceived by pretty faces and flattering words
Because it is what is beneath the skin, on the inside of their hearts
That TRULY reflects a woman's TRUE beauty!
My Short Sermon for the 2010 FIne Arts Festival - "The Freeing Power of the Cross"
Freedom…we ALL need freedom in our lives. Freedom from bad habits, freedom from deceived thinking, freedom from addictions, freedom from pain. There are so many things in this world that take captive our minds, our spirits, even our souls, and our hearts are crying out for freedom from their bondage. Well that is exactly what Jesus dying on the cross did. When Jesus gave of himself and as it says in Isaiah 53:4, “borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows,” He unleashed the power of God into the world, a power so great that it can, quite literally, change everything. And this is what I am going to be talking about today; how the power of what Jesus did at Calvary opened the door to our freedom.
The first power that enables us to have freedom is the power of God’s forgiveness. The power of God’s forgiveness is so radical that it can take any number or any degree of sin and completely wipe it out of God’s record, so we can be“…perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works,” as it says in 2 Timothy 3:17. And I want you to listen to that, when it says perfect it really means perfect. So when God looks at us He doesn’t see the filth of our flesh but the righteousness and perfection of Jesus’ blood. And do you know what that does? That changes everything, that completely frees us from the guilt and shame of our all past mistakes and even from the worry of any future mistakes. And when we don’t have to worry about messing up the time, because we will, that allows us to live in such confidence because we know what our savior did for us up on that cross. And I don’t know about you but for me that is a pretty liberating feeling.
And so because of God’s forgiveness we are able to enjoy the freedom that comes from this next power, which is the power of God’s joy. Like it says in Nehemiah 8:10, “…the joy of the Lord is our strength.” This could not be more true, because when we are totally filled with the joy of the Lord, we can not help but be overcome with the power that frees us from having to live a life of negativity and pessimism. We experience the freedom of a power that turns our mourning into dancing, a power that turns our depression into rejoicing, a power that gives us the strength, that when the world is telling us that we should be down because the economy is bad, we should be depressed because our finances are bad, we should be discouraged because our families are falling apart, we should be frustrated because we can never seem to stop making mistakes, it gives us the strength to turn to that world and say “Well you can go ahead and be down and be depressed and be discouraged and be frustrated, but as for me I am going to dance and I am going to sing and I am going praise the Lord because He saved me from the fiery pits of hell and He has given me a new life free having feeling sorry for myself. And THAT changes everything.
But now its time for the last power, and what I definitely consider to be the greatest power, which is the power of God’s love. God’s love, God’s perfect, pure, infinite love is what truly changed everything. Because as we all know “For God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” But what we don’t always think about is what it says in 1 John 4:18 that, “…perfect love casteth out all fear.” God’s love casts out all fear??? Do you realize…that changes EVERYTHING!!! For without fear we have the freedom to live the way God created us to live, without fear with the freedom to be exactly who God created us to be, without fear we have the freedom to do all the extraordinary things that God has created us to do, and without fear we have freedom from the bondage of Satan’s lies that have bound down the power and potential and destiny that God has placed inside of us that has been waiting for something to come along and change everything. When we acknowledge what Christ did on that cross 2000 yrs ago and realize the power that it gives us for our own lives today, we become able to receive the power of the forgiveness, the joy, and the love of God…that changes EVERYTHING!
The first power that enables us to have freedom is the power of God’s forgiveness. The power of God’s forgiveness is so radical that it can take any number or any degree of sin and completely wipe it out of God’s record, so we can be“…perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works,” as it says in 2 Timothy 3:17. And I want you to listen to that, when it says perfect it really means perfect. So when God looks at us He doesn’t see the filth of our flesh but the righteousness and perfection of Jesus’ blood. And do you know what that does? That changes everything, that completely frees us from the guilt and shame of our all past mistakes and even from the worry of any future mistakes. And when we don’t have to worry about messing up the time, because we will, that allows us to live in such confidence because we know what our savior did for us up on that cross. And I don’t know about you but for me that is a pretty liberating feeling.
And so because of God’s forgiveness we are able to enjoy the freedom that comes from this next power, which is the power of God’s joy. Like it says in Nehemiah 8:10, “…the joy of the Lord is our strength.” This could not be more true, because when we are totally filled with the joy of the Lord, we can not help but be overcome with the power that frees us from having to live a life of negativity and pessimism. We experience the freedom of a power that turns our mourning into dancing, a power that turns our depression into rejoicing, a power that gives us the strength, that when the world is telling us that we should be down because the economy is bad, we should be depressed because our finances are bad, we should be discouraged because our families are falling apart, we should be frustrated because we can never seem to stop making mistakes, it gives us the strength to turn to that world and say “Well you can go ahead and be down and be depressed and be discouraged and be frustrated, but as for me I am going to dance and I am going to sing and I am going praise the Lord because He saved me from the fiery pits of hell and He has given me a new life free having feeling sorry for myself. And THAT changes everything.
But now its time for the last power, and what I definitely consider to be the greatest power, which is the power of God’s love. God’s love, God’s perfect, pure, infinite love is what truly changed everything. Because as we all know “For God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” But what we don’t always think about is what it says in 1 John 4:18 that, “…perfect love casteth out all fear.” God’s love casts out all fear??? Do you realize…that changes EVERYTHING!!! For without fear we have the freedom to live the way God created us to live, without fear with the freedom to be exactly who God created us to be, without fear we have the freedom to do all the extraordinary things that God has created us to do, and without fear we have freedom from the bondage of Satan’s lies that have bound down the power and potential and destiny that God has placed inside of us that has been waiting for something to come along and change everything. When we acknowledge what Christ did on that cross 2000 yrs ago and realize the power that it gives us for our own lives today, we become able to receive the power of the forgiveness, the joy, and the love of God…that changes EVERYTHING!
His Great Forgiveness!
Oh God, I have been a horrid, wretched sinner! I have disobeyed you, I have neglected you, I have sinned against you countless times. And when I look to you in total shamee, expecting to be greeted with the bitter feel of disappointment and overwhelming hurt, instead, you look at me and smile and say "Don't feel bad, my child! It's ok, I have already forgiven you!" And I can't help but be brought to my knees in astonishment at such an extraordinary capacity for forgiveness. I feel tears begin to roll down my cheeks in humble reverence to my Lord whose greatness passes ALL my understanding!
Friday, June 25, 2010
True Love Waits (for the ladies!)
~BarlowGirl - Average Girl~
So what I'm not your average girl
I don't meet the standards of this world
Chasing after boys is not my thing
See I'm waiting for a wedding ring
No more dating
I'm just waiting
Like sleeping beauty
My prince will come for me
No more dating
I'm just waiting
'Cause God is writing my love story
Boys are bad that's certainly not true
'Cause God's preparing one for you
If you get tired waiting till he comes
Gods arms are the perfect place to run
Sleep that's the only thing
For me 'cause when I sleep God's
Preparing one for me
------------------------------------------
This is seriously like the theme song of my life! ;)
Throughout my life, I have struggled in this area soooo much. I have always been so needy and desperate to find "The One," "My Prince Charming," or even just someone who will like me and make me feel special (how pathetic is that!?!) I just wanted to feel special, so i was willing to accept any guy (just about) who would just pay attention to me or act like he was interested in me even the slightest bit. But i never actually told the guys that i liked them, although i never really had to because i was pretty much the worst EVER at hiding my crushes. And all of them just ended up being emotion roller coasters because none of the guys (whether they pretended to or not) actually liked me, so i was pretty much in a hopeless situation no matter what. But for years and years, crushes after crushes, after crushes, after crushes!!!! I would put myself through the mental and emotional stress of having crushes on guys that couldn't care less about me just because i wanted even the illusion that someone cared for me like that.
But i would say probably around my junior year of high school, i started a slow..very slow realization of my worth and my worth to God. Over the years God has been teaching me many lessons (whether i actually learned them immediately or not) about my worth and how precious i am. And I just want to share some of these truths with all of you girls out there who deal with these kind of self-esteem issues too, because i know you all do to some degree, whether you admit it or not!
1st Truth - You are more precious than gold! - God says you are all perfectly and wonderfully made! That means no matter how much you weigh, no matter how tall or short you are, no matter how nice of hair you have, how clear of a complexion you have, no matter what clothes you wear, no matter how well you do you make-up, no matter how other people (or even you) think of how you look...you are absolutely GORGEOUS in God's eyes!!!! And you need to hear that and receive it..truly receive it! Let it sink in. Go to a mirror if you have to, close your eyes pray for a few seconds and ask God to let him see yourself as He sees you and open your eyes and see what a radiant, beautiful creature of God you are.
2nd Truth - God's opinion is the ONLY one that matters!!! - I just got through telling you what God thinks of you, and now that you've received that and accepted it. You need to take all the things people say and think about you. That means girls you walk by in the hall that snicker and gossip when you walk by because your wearing last years sandals, the girls that may talk about non-flat your stomach is in the locker room and how they need to introduce you to mr. anorexia diet, or the guys that treat you like dirt because your not cool, pretty, or nearly slutty enough for them to give a second thought (or a first one for that matter), the boyfriend that doesn't quite treat you right but you over look that because hey at least he's willing to date you right??, or that parent that calls you ugly because they have a drinking or drug problem or maybe they are just have their own set of issues their projecting on you. All those people, all those thoughts, all those LIES, come from the pit of hell and their Satan's attempt to try and attack you, to bring you down, and steal away the beauty and the joy that God created you to radiate as a reflection of him. Let God's opinion of you overcome your entire perspective, kicks all those thoughts to the curb!!!
3rd Truth - YOUR man, THE man, the RIGHT man is out there waiting for you, don't waste your time with a bunch of losers - God is preparing for you right now, the perfect man for you, your prince charming, someone to sweep you off your feet, your mr. wright, "the one", however you want to look at it. God had him picked out for you at the beginning of time and he is the only one God ever intended you to be with emotional and especially physically in the context of a romantic relationship. And so all these guys that are "good guys", that "aren't that bad", that are so perfect except for these several imperfections, they are all nothing. Do you know what they are??? They are Satan's attempt to get you to settle for less than God's best. He is trying to steal away all those pieces of your heart that God had planned to be the glorious gift you would one day give to your future husband, and he wants to tear it to pieces. He wants to bring guy after guy into your life to take your heart and destroy it, kick it, punch it, maybe give it the chair a couple times. He wants to take that perfect, innocent, pure, clean heart and turn it into a beat up, bruised, scared, dirty, cold, hard, corrupted old piece of trash that no one would ever want. But God doesn't want that to happen to any of you! But even if it has, it doesn't matter, because the blood of Jesus Christ cleanses our hearts and makes us new again.
But if there was anything you need to remember from this is that your divinely appointed future husband is out there, and he is waiting for you with an incomparable anticipation; God created you for perfection, don't sell yourselves short, you are worth sooo much more than that. True love waits, so wait for him..he's waiting for you! =)
So what I'm not your average girl
I don't meet the standards of this world
Chasing after boys is not my thing
See I'm waiting for a wedding ring
No more dating
I'm just waiting
Like sleeping beauty
My prince will come for me
No more dating
I'm just waiting
'Cause God is writing my love story
Boys are bad that's certainly not true
'Cause God's preparing one for you
If you get tired waiting till he comes
Gods arms are the perfect place to run
Sleep that's the only thing
For me 'cause when I sleep God's
Preparing one for me
------------------------------------------
This is seriously like the theme song of my life! ;)
Throughout my life, I have struggled in this area soooo much. I have always been so needy and desperate to find "The One," "My Prince Charming," or even just someone who will like me and make me feel special (how pathetic is that!?!) I just wanted to feel special, so i was willing to accept any guy (just about) who would just pay attention to me or act like he was interested in me even the slightest bit. But i never actually told the guys that i liked them, although i never really had to because i was pretty much the worst EVER at hiding my crushes. And all of them just ended up being emotion roller coasters because none of the guys (whether they pretended to or not) actually liked me, so i was pretty much in a hopeless situation no matter what. But for years and years, crushes after crushes, after crushes, after crushes!!!! I would put myself through the mental and emotional stress of having crushes on guys that couldn't care less about me just because i wanted even the illusion that someone cared for me like that.
But i would say probably around my junior year of high school, i started a slow..very slow realization of my worth and my worth to God. Over the years God has been teaching me many lessons (whether i actually learned them immediately or not) about my worth and how precious i am. And I just want to share some of these truths with all of you girls out there who deal with these kind of self-esteem issues too, because i know you all do to some degree, whether you admit it or not!
1st Truth - You are more precious than gold! - God says you are all perfectly and wonderfully made! That means no matter how much you weigh, no matter how tall or short you are, no matter how nice of hair you have, how clear of a complexion you have, no matter what clothes you wear, no matter how well you do you make-up, no matter how other people (or even you) think of how you look...you are absolutely GORGEOUS in God's eyes!!!! And you need to hear that and receive it..truly receive it! Let it sink in. Go to a mirror if you have to, close your eyes pray for a few seconds and ask God to let him see yourself as He sees you and open your eyes and see what a radiant, beautiful creature of God you are.
2nd Truth - God's opinion is the ONLY one that matters!!! - I just got through telling you what God thinks of you, and now that you've received that and accepted it. You need to take all the things people say and think about you. That means girls you walk by in the hall that snicker and gossip when you walk by because your wearing last years sandals, the girls that may talk about non-flat your stomach is in the locker room and how they need to introduce you to mr. anorexia diet, or the guys that treat you like dirt because your not cool, pretty, or nearly slutty enough for them to give a second thought (or a first one for that matter), the boyfriend that doesn't quite treat you right but you over look that because hey at least he's willing to date you right??, or that parent that calls you ugly because they have a drinking or drug problem or maybe they are just have their own set of issues their projecting on you. All those people, all those thoughts, all those LIES, come from the pit of hell and their Satan's attempt to try and attack you, to bring you down, and steal away the beauty and the joy that God created you to radiate as a reflection of him. Let God's opinion of you overcome your entire perspective, kicks all those thoughts to the curb!!!
3rd Truth - YOUR man, THE man, the RIGHT man is out there waiting for you, don't waste your time with a bunch of losers - God is preparing for you right now, the perfect man for you, your prince charming, someone to sweep you off your feet, your mr. wright, "the one", however you want to look at it. God had him picked out for you at the beginning of time and he is the only one God ever intended you to be with emotional and especially physically in the context of a romantic relationship. And so all these guys that are "good guys", that "aren't that bad", that are so perfect except for these several imperfections, they are all nothing. Do you know what they are??? They are Satan's attempt to get you to settle for less than God's best. He is trying to steal away all those pieces of your heart that God had planned to be the glorious gift you would one day give to your future husband, and he wants to tear it to pieces. He wants to bring guy after guy into your life to take your heart and destroy it, kick it, punch it, maybe give it the chair a couple times. He wants to take that perfect, innocent, pure, clean heart and turn it into a beat up, bruised, scared, dirty, cold, hard, corrupted old piece of trash that no one would ever want. But God doesn't want that to happen to any of you! But even if it has, it doesn't matter, because the blood of Jesus Christ cleanses our hearts and makes us new again.
But if there was anything you need to remember from this is that your divinely appointed future husband is out there, and he is waiting for you with an incomparable anticipation; God created you for perfection, don't sell yourselves short, you are worth sooo much more than that. True love waits, so wait for him..he's waiting for you! =)
Saturday, December 20, 2008
My brother's going into the Coast Guard
Well right now is kind of an ackward/happy time (at least for me) because my brother just left this mornig for Coast Guard boot camp that last for 8 weeks and it's the beginning of a new beginning for my brother, becuase he has gone through so much and he has put this family through so much that it's refreshing for this family (especially my mom) to know that one thing is going good and it seems that it is gonna be permanent. My brother has had a lot of problems though his life with my mom he has been in trouble more times then you can count and my mom has hope and prayed for him to somehow, someway find a way to get better. And so many time it seemed hopless and as though he was headed for the street to become a bum. And when he moved out of the house at 18 it seemed that's what was happening. He was living out the story of the Prodigle son but we didn't know yet how it was gonna end. But when he decided to come back this past Mother's day it was like the ultimate present for my mom, and as they had agreed when my brother left coming home ment going to the Coast Guard and my brother finally was willing to accept that and do it. But all his friends thought my mom was forcing this, even though Bryan told them otherwise (because it seemed like the kind of thing she would do). But finally the majority of his friends changed their mind and decided to encourage him (whitch was really what he needed because my brother was obsessed with making sure his friends were happy). And so then he turned a corner and was now excited to leave becaue he wanted to start anew and get on his way to college and a better life. But now that he's gone I'm feeling kind of depressed because him and his friends were the main source of excitement in this house and now that he's gone, his friends obviously are gone too and it's more boring and at least for me casue my other brother is 21 and has a life and can do whatever he wants whenever he wants pretty much. And I'm stuck here being able to do hardly anything. I'm happy for my brother but when he was around the excitement was brought to us but now I feel like I'm strapped down by the schedule paramaters of my parents not able to go out on my own chase down the excitement for myself. But hopefully I will be able to gain as much as possible the trust that I need to be able to attain some measure of the feeling of freedom.
Thanks for reading
Sincerely,
~MyEssence~
Feelings drive me crazy
Right now I am just blah, because there's a guy I know who is just a friend but he is so amazingly wonderful and he has kinda become my best friend. And since the closest guy friend I've ever had it Im not as used to close guy friends as other girls are. Evertime I think about him I think back at what my Bible teacher once taught in class when he was teaching about marriage and what a good wife & husband look like. He said something to the affect of, just because he's your best friend doesn't mean you can't marry him because that's actually what you want. And obviously I am not talking about now but still he also said that most people get married a little bit after they graduate from highschool or college I don't remeber which. But still I just go over in my head all the time what kind of things that I would want in a husband and this guy fits the discription almost exactly. And also one factor that before I never thought would happen is that, he's not as cute on the outside as I had always thought my dream guy would be but when I think of every thing else about him and then I look at his face he looks absolutely gorgeous. I just can't imagine anyone else being more perfect for me. I also find that I can't get him out of my mind, Im always thinking about him and how wonderful he is, how right now we're just friends and that's all I want it to be right now but it could develop into so much more later and sometimes I just don't know what to do with myself. He just makes me feel like I can take on the world, no matter how bad the situation seems or how many people reject me as long as I have him right there with me everything's gonna be ok. And I've never truly felt this way about any other guy before in my life. And although I'm too young for this but I think I've fallen in love. I don't no what to do, but I think I am, and I've never been happier. When every I even think about him it's like I don't have a care in the world and all my troubles just melt away. And he lives in another city that's hours away, so it's like that whole "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" thing kinda happening here; because I just know that if this relationship is really meant to be, if God really wants me to be with him then God will make it happen. Cause what God wants God gets.
Thanks for reading
Sincerely,
~MyEssence~
Amazing!
Sometimes (especially as a girl) you can make you self go crazy with emotions. I like this guy as a friend and hopefully potenially as more than that ; ). But I have been temporarily unable to talk to him at all and this is driving me crazy cause all I can do is go every day just thinking about him and how amazing he is and how happy my/our life could be if we were together and how no matter how bad things seemed it happy days would never be too far away with the both of us working to gether. Because we balance each other out like perfectly and it's just to perfect to not be our future. And I am so just overflowed with emotions about him that I really want to tell him. And I know the perfect day but it's soo far away and I can't be completely out of contact with him for that long will go insane if i do. I really think I need him too because there are so many struggles i have in my life and I feel with him by my side all those struggles would no longer exist or at least be a breeze to get through. Now that I have met him and he's in my life there's no way I could image myself without him. And I'm soo filled with emotions I'm about to burst.
Thanks for reading
Sincerely,
~MyEssence~
Singing is awesome
Sometimes (especially as a girl) you can make you self go crazy with emotions. I like this guy as a friend and hopefully potenially as more than that ; ). But I have been temporarily unable to talk to him at all and this is driving me crazy cause all I can do is go every day just thinking about him and how amazing he is and how happy my/our life could be if we were together and how no matter how bad things seemed it happy days would never be too far away with the both of us working to gether. Because we balance each other out like perfectly and it's just to perfect to not be our future. And I am so just overflowed with emotions about him that I really want to tell him. And I know the perfect day but it's soo far away and I can't be completely out of contact with him for that long will go insane if i do. I really think I need him too because there are so many struggles i have in my life and I feel with him by my side all those struggles would no longer exist or at least be a breeze to get through. Now that I have met him and he's in my life there's no way I could image myself without him. And I'm soo filled with emotions I'm about to burst.
Thanks for reading
Sincerely,
~MyEssence~
Sometimes I make myself go crazy 80
Sometimes (especially as a girl) you can make you self go crazy with emotions. I like this guy as a friend and hopefully potenially as more than that ; ). But I have been temporarily unable to talk to him at all and this is driving me crazy cause all I can do is go every day just thinking about him and how amazing he is and how happy my/our life could be if we were together and how no matter how bad things seemed it happy days would never be too far away with the both of us working to gether. Because we balance each other out like perfectly and it's just to perfect to not be our future. And I am so just overflowed with emotions about him that I really want to tell him. And I know the perfect day but it's soo far away and I can't be completely out of contact with him for that long will go insane if i do. I really think I need him too because there are so many struggles i have in my life and I feel with him by my side all those struggles would no longer exist or at least be a breeze to get through. Now that I have met him and he's in my life there's no way I could image myself without him. And I'm soo filled with emotions I'm about to burst.
Thanks for reading
Sincerely,
~MyEssence~
Writing saves me
If i didn't have the ability to write I don't know where i'd be right now. Maybe I would be dead, because i have never had any one in my life that i can talk to and vent all my emotions to (and believe me, i have ALOT) and thats a real problem for me because i really need that, badly. So i feel the only way that i can get out all these emotions that i have bottled up inside me is to write them out. And thankfully God has blessed me with this gift and talent and desire to write. And this has really helped me my whole life because i find that as i write out my emotions, then by the time i'm half way finished or by the time i'm done i just feel so much better and calmer, and its like i can actually breathe. It has really been a life saver for me. Because i have so many emotions and so many problems and things that could just get me so depressed and put me into a really dark place that writing is just a way that i'm able to get out all my "demons" in a sense. But when i do find someone i can talk to who is willing to listen to my constant problems and comfort me and stuff (which is really mainly what i need) it will definately surpass anything my writting could do for me. Because people can talk back to you and give you advice and comfort you and wrap their arms around you.
However, though it has taken me a long long time to really grasp this conept, God really can help you as well, when you are in those dark places. Because God's comfort and peace can surpass anything anyone or anything could ever do for you, because everyone in the world has a God-sized whole in their heart that only He can fill, and once i realized that, i was able to allow God to be that comforter to me. And so God was another major factor in my survival. My writing was just a path that would allow me to reach a state of saneness that i could really look at my situation and be calm enough and rational enough to go to God for help. And i just can't thank God enough for all he has done for me over the whole course of my life. He has brought me through so many tramatic and hard times in my life and brought me to be such a completely better person, now i still have a lot of growing left to do but i'm so much better than i was. And that has really been very valuble to me and i really do believe that God is going to use these experiences that i have had to go through and allow me to share my testimony with other people who have experienced similar things. Because God has a special plan for each and every person's life thats on this earth. It's just a matter of us becoming the person that God wants us to be to be able to reach that potential. And i just can wait to see what God is going to do with my life.
However, though it has taken me a long long time to really grasp this conept, God really can help you as well, when you are in those dark places. Because God's comfort and peace can surpass anything anyone or anything could ever do for you, because everyone in the world has a God-sized whole in their heart that only He can fill, and once i realized that, i was able to allow God to be that comforter to me. And so God was another major factor in my survival. My writing was just a path that would allow me to reach a state of saneness that i could really look at my situation and be calm enough and rational enough to go to God for help. And i just can't thank God enough for all he has done for me over the whole course of my life. He has brought me through so many tramatic and hard times in my life and brought me to be such a completely better person, now i still have a lot of growing left to do but i'm so much better than i was. And that has really been very valuble to me and i really do believe that God is going to use these experiences that i have had to go through and allow me to share my testimony with other people who have experienced similar things. Because God has a special plan for each and every person's life thats on this earth. It's just a matter of us becoming the person that God wants us to be to be able to reach that potential. And i just can wait to see what God is going to do with my life.
Thanks for reading
Sincerely,
~MyEssence~
Love is a CRAZY thing!
Wow, love, it's a crazy thing, so unpredictable, so captivating, so addictive. I mean love is like a force that has the power of a hurricane. It's made many people do some crazy things, "Romeo and Juliet" is exhibit A. Sometimes when you think you've got it figured out, it turns a completely different direction. It's very tricky, sometimes it's very good at hiding it's self; you can't always see it unless you're really looking for it. And sometimes it's just right in front of face and we still can't see it. Sometimes we have it in our grasp and then we just throw it away not realizing what we really had until its gone. And then there are the times where it's with in our reach all we have to do is take it but only at the right time to be able to experience it's full potential. Because if we take it too soon then it will sabatoge the whole thing and if we take it too late, well then we're too late and we've missed our opportunity. And it's those times where people pick the right person at the right time and everything is perfect where you just want to take that moment, and make it last forever. But of course the whole relationship is not perfect, because that's how relationships truly grow, when their tested with trials and tribulations and if they come out of it together, then they also come out stronger and closer together, just further more reassured that their meant for each other.
For me I've taken myself on quite a few emotional roller coasters in my life time. Even if i've never met them, or talked to them, or told them how i feel. Being a girl i can get so emotionally entangled and obssesed with someone before anything even happens. And i create all these cenarios in my mind that fuel these rollercoasters, and it's not until i've gotten myself so my mad that i actually realize that it wasn't real to begin with. Although, there are still those very few times that I have encounterd something real. And when I say few I really mean few. As of right now there are only to people in my entire life that I have ever truly considered as husband material. Which for the most part is a good thing, because if you truly think there husband material then there really shouldn't be a million guys you would consider for that. Because really there is only one person in the whole world that people are completely compatible with. And when i say compatable I don't mean they are perfect in the sense that they totally balance each other out, so that there would be no conflict. Because conflict is healthy for a relationship as i have already stated. But completely compatable in the sense that they can go their entire lives and still love each other and still be together. Now there are cases where that is the case but becuase of the stupidity of the people they let things break that and they lose what could have and should have been a forever relationship, and they doom themselves to forever but subject to periodic relationships. Meaning relationships that will eventually fall apart.
But people really shouldn't make decisioins about love until they get a "go ahead" from the one person who knows exactly who and when we will marry. And of course i'm talking about God. God konws exactly who we're meant to be with and he knows the exact time we will be ready to be with him. And when that time comes we won't even realize it until it's already passed. Thats what is so amazing, because we don't even have to know, because God is the one who controls our lives (as long as we let him). If we choose to just relinquish control to God and, because of the fact that he knows it all and he knows whats best for us, give him complete control of our situation, then you know that your going to end up with the right person at the right time. It's impossible for that not to happen, if you do that. And i am just so excited for the future, excited to see what is going to happen because i know that when you are able to experience to it's full extent the plans that God has for you and your life then it is just so amazing that no words known to man can describe it.
For me I've taken myself on quite a few emotional roller coasters in my life time. Even if i've never met them, or talked to them, or told them how i feel. Being a girl i can get so emotionally entangled and obssesed with someone before anything even happens. And i create all these cenarios in my mind that fuel these rollercoasters, and it's not until i've gotten myself so my mad that i actually realize that it wasn't real to begin with. Although, there are still those very few times that I have encounterd something real. And when I say few I really mean few. As of right now there are only to people in my entire life that I have ever truly considered as husband material. Which for the most part is a good thing, because if you truly think there husband material then there really shouldn't be a million guys you would consider for that. Because really there is only one person in the whole world that people are completely compatible with. And when i say compatable I don't mean they are perfect in the sense that they totally balance each other out, so that there would be no conflict. Because conflict is healthy for a relationship as i have already stated. But completely compatable in the sense that they can go their entire lives and still love each other and still be together. Now there are cases where that is the case but becuase of the stupidity of the people they let things break that and they lose what could have and should have been a forever relationship, and they doom themselves to forever but subject to periodic relationships. Meaning relationships that will eventually fall apart.
But people really shouldn't make decisioins about love until they get a "go ahead" from the one person who knows exactly who and when we will marry. And of course i'm talking about God. God konws exactly who we're meant to be with and he knows the exact time we will be ready to be with him. And when that time comes we won't even realize it until it's already passed. Thats what is so amazing, because we don't even have to know, because God is the one who controls our lives (as long as we let him). If we choose to just relinquish control to God and, because of the fact that he knows it all and he knows whats best for us, give him complete control of our situation, then you know that your going to end up with the right person at the right time. It's impossible for that not to happen, if you do that. And i am just so excited for the future, excited to see what is going to happen because i know that when you are able to experience to it's full extent the plans that God has for you and your life then it is just so amazing that no words known to man can describe it.
Thanks for reading
Sincerely,
~MyEssence~
People!
People...the world is full of them. They walk around this vast land in search of...various different things (although most of them useless and futile). And as people live their live ignoring the possible signifacence of the person standing next to them or the person across the room. People do whatever they want because of the sorry excuse of "Hey it’s my life!" when people don’t even have the slightest clue that no matter who you are, no matter how lame, "cool", popular, stupid, retarded, rejected, demented, whatever the things you do, the choices you make, the things you say, the people you hang out with, the way you treat people, everything and anything. Can unknowingly affect anyone who comes to witness of your vain actoins that you believe are insignificant when they can be more significant that you will ever realize.
The world needs to wake up and realize that their lives are not their own, no matter how insignificant they think they are, one simple action can have life long lasting affects of some inocent spectator of your pitiful existence you call a life. A simple action can change a person’s life from "got everything going for ’em" to "a one way ticket to no where." And what’s even more sad is that, PEOPLE DON"T CARE. I mean what kind of heartless, cold, jerk do have to be when you don’t care about the potentially destructive affect you may have on another person’s life. Especially if that person is someone close to you.
And furthermore, the more "important" you are in society the bigger an effect you have on the general public. And the worst part sometimes their the worst of us all. And so a slight miscalculation of a decision can trasform someones life into a hell whole. If you ask me this whole entire world needs a HUGE wake up call, and quick before we’re all spiralling down a dark pit of destruction.
The world needs to wake up and realize that their lives are not their own, no matter how insignificant they think they are, one simple action can have life long lasting affects of some inocent spectator of your pitiful existence you call a life. A simple action can change a person’s life from "got everything going for ’em" to "a one way ticket to no where." And what’s even more sad is that, PEOPLE DON"T CARE. I mean what kind of heartless, cold, jerk do have to be when you don’t care about the potentially destructive affect you may have on another person’s life. Especially if that person is someone close to you.
And furthermore, the more "important" you are in society the bigger an effect you have on the general public. And the worst part sometimes their the worst of us all. And so a slight miscalculation of a decision can trasform someones life into a hell whole. If you ask me this whole entire world needs a HUGE wake up call, and quick before we’re all spiralling down a dark pit of destruction.
Thanks for reading
Sincerely,
~MyEssence~
Rules of Dinning Out
Rules of Dinning Out:
1. If you can afford to go out to eat... But you can't afford to tip... hey.. guess what.. you can't afford to go out to eat.
2. This is 2007 people. 10% is not acceptable anymore... standard tipping for GOOD service is between 18 and 20%...
3. Now, I understand that 10% is good enough for God... That's fine.. but this isn't church.. and you're not tithing.
4. PS- ordering a well done steak... which everyone in the south does... will constitute a longer ticket time. You will be okay. If you wanted fast food, you should have gone through a friggin drive-thru... (Squirrelly note: If you order a filet well done, I will hand you a slim jim and eat the 30 dollar steak myself. Thanks)
5. It's really not necessary to snap at me or wave your hand in the air like you're having a spasm or get up and follow me. I saw you, I acknowledged you, you saw me... hold on and sit the down. I am coming.
6. When I take the time to be courteous and introduce myself... please don't be a rude jerk and cut me off... manners, please.
7. I follow a strict rule that you should never reward bad service with a good tip... however, you should also never punish excellent service with a crappy tip because you're a cheap jerk.
8. Please don't take it out on me because you have had a bad day.. I'm here to make it better. relax.
9. When I deliver your food and ask if there is anything else.. you can tell me... I asked didn't I? Don't get all bent out of shape because I'm not psychic and cannot read your mind.. how the hell am I supposed to know you needed A1?
10. I know sometimes you can't help it, but do you really have to ask for something every single time I walk past the table? I mean really. Jessica Simpson is not even that high-maintenance.
11. Hi. Look around you. You are one of probably twenty people I am waiting on.. Did you happen to notice that? So if you have to wait for a minute.. Be patient.. I promise I will take care of you..
12. Treating a server like a piece of crap and the scum of the earth because we are serving you is the quickest way to get the worst service you ever thought possible.. We are people too and you are no better than me... I don't give a crap what you do.
13. Just think about it like this. Your tip left on the table is how I pay my bills. I am making $2.13 an hour.. So no. I don't get a paycheck. After taxes and claiming tips I'm lucky if I even see one. Remember that next time you decide to be cheap.
14. Last but certainly not least... Don't assume that my job is easier than yours and I am some dumb idiot who can't get a better job. The restaurant business is a fast paced environment with a high stress level. And you don't even see all the things we do behind the scene. So have some respect. I don't come to your office and treat you like crap for sitting on your ass all day do I?? No. I don't.
Repost if you are a server or know a server! or just repost to support servers!
1. If you can afford to go out to eat... But you can't afford to tip... hey.. guess what.. you can't afford to go out to eat.
2. This is 2007 people. 10% is not acceptable anymore... standard tipping for GOOD service is between 18 and 20%...
3. Now, I understand that 10% is good enough for God... That's fine.. but this isn't church.. and you're not tithing.
4. PS- ordering a well done steak... which everyone in the south does... will constitute a longer ticket time. You will be okay. If you wanted fast food, you should have gone through a friggin drive-thru... (Squirrelly note: If you order a filet well done, I will hand you a slim jim and eat the 30 dollar steak myself. Thanks)
5. It's really not necessary to snap at me or wave your hand in the air like you're having a spasm or get up and follow me. I saw you, I acknowledged you, you saw me... hold on and sit the down. I am coming.
6. When I take the time to be courteous and introduce myself... please don't be a rude jerk and cut me off... manners, please.
7. I follow a strict rule that you should never reward bad service with a good tip... however, you should also never punish excellent service with a crappy tip because you're a cheap jerk.
8. Please don't take it out on me because you have had a bad day.. I'm here to make it better. relax.
9. When I deliver your food and ask if there is anything else.. you can tell me... I asked didn't I? Don't get all bent out of shape because I'm not psychic and cannot read your mind.. how the hell am I supposed to know you needed A1?
10. I know sometimes you can't help it, but do you really have to ask for something every single time I walk past the table? I mean really. Jessica Simpson is not even that high-maintenance.
11. Hi. Look around you. You are one of probably twenty people I am waiting on.. Did you happen to notice that? So if you have to wait for a minute.. Be patient.. I promise I will take care of you..
12. Treating a server like a piece of crap and the scum of the earth because we are serving you is the quickest way to get the worst service you ever thought possible.. We are people too and you are no better than me... I don't give a crap what you do.
13. Just think about it like this. Your tip left on the table is how I pay my bills. I am making $2.13 an hour.. So no. I don't get a paycheck. After taxes and claiming tips I'm lucky if I even see one. Remember that next time you decide to be cheap.
14. Last but certainly not least... Don't assume that my job is easier than yours and I am some dumb idiot who can't get a better job. The restaurant business is a fast paced environment with a high stress level. And you don't even see all the things we do behind the scene. So have some respect. I don't come to your office and treat you like crap for sitting on your ass all day do I?? No. I don't.
Repost if you are a server or know a server! or just repost to support servers!
Thanks for reading
Sincerely,
~MyEssnece~
My Future Husband
Main Characteristics
1. Must be a truly dedicated Christian. He must love God with all his heart, soul, and mind. God has to be number in his life; so that, I will not engulf too much of his life. That way I know the relationship will stay where it's supposed to be when its supposed to be. And as long as we both follow what God is telling us to do, our relationship will go exactly according to God's plan, which is the only plan I have any interest in following. That will make sure the relationship has balance.
2. Able to give Godly advice. Although I'm dedicated to God I do mess up...many many times, and I'm going to need a man who can and will correct me when he sees me straying from a Godly path, and then help keep me on the right path. Kind of like an accountability partner for life. He needs to be wise in the ways of God, and is able to resist the temptations of the world.
3. Is a virgin. If he is truly a Godly Christian he would be a virgin; he would understand how sacred his virginity really is. But he may not have always been that way; therefore, if he is not a virgin but has changed life and doesn't act that way anymore, then all would be completely forgiven and forgotten.
4. Has his own moral standards. I want him to have his own Biblical moral standards that he always follows because he believes them himself, and not just because of me. But because he believes them in his own heart he should also be able to completely defend his beliefs to himself, me, and anyone else. I don't want him to change just for me, just so that I will love him, but because he needs to and God calls him to better himself.
5. Is willing to defend his beliefs when necessary. Now I don't want someone who will start conflicts or disagreements or things like that, but I want someone who knows what he believes and when someone challenges that (if it is important enough) he can and will defend it with all his knowledge and wisdom.
6. Is able to agree on one church. If we don't already go to the same church we must agree on one for each other (and in the future, for our family) because its important for us to be learning about God and growing towards him together not separately. A couple that prays together stays together. (haha)
Personality/Character
1. Have respect for a woman's body. He can't be so rapped up in how hot he thinks I am that he pays no attention to anything else about me. First and foremost he needs to love me for who I am not what I look like.
2. A good listener. Someone who will be willing to sacrifice his own time to just sit there and listen to me if I've had a bad day and need to talk about it. Or if I'm feeling really mad or sad or whatever, and just need to vent to him. He is just willing to sit there for however long I need, to just talk with me or talk to me or just listen to me, whatever I need.
3. A kind person. He should be the kind of person who isn't judgmental towards people, he is friendly with everyone. He's easy to get along with, a personable person. Someone I can feel very comfortable around, and someone who's easy to talk to, easy to relate with.
4. A compassionate and thoughtful person. I'd like him to be the kind of person who will be observant of me and notice when I am sad or lonely or mad and do things for to cheer me up and make me feel better. I'd want him to be the kind of person who will do things for me just because; just because he loves me, just because he was thinking about me, etc.
5. An optimistic person and slow to anger. He should be the kind of person who likes to find the best in a situation, a person, or something. Quick to point out the positives, and to encourage and comfort, and be more supportive. Oh, and definitely he needs to be slow to anger, because (although I try not to) many times I am quick to get upset, or frustrated, and annoyed, and I need him to be able to handle that or calm down the situation. To be able to counteract the situation and help me realize I don't need to get worked up about something. Someone who will be patient with me, and understand my flaws and be willing to work with them.
6. Is a determined person. He should be someone who doesn't give up on things easily, that when he has a goal he goes after it unfailing. He doesn't let frivolous, minor things distract him from his goals. And he will do what's necessary to get what he wants and where he wants to go (as long as God approves of his goal and his methods).
7. Intelligent. I want someone who is smart and educated. Not someone who believes ignorance is bliss, but makes an effort to be informed about the things going on in our world today. And someone who is opinionated where it matters and can defend his opinions well. He doesn't have to be a genius and know everything about everything or anything, but at least someone who will make an effort to be educated in the important issues to a Christian, and is able to discern the good from the evils of the world.
8. Should be able to be spontaneous and fun. I want someone who will be willing to do stuff spontaneously, someone who is not tied down to the restrictions of a schedule can be crazy and fun like me .
9. Funny. Someone who knows me and knows how to make me laugh at any time. Who whenever I'm with him it doesn't matter what we're doing, I'll always be having fun and smiling as long as I'm with him.
10. Can be fun and serious. Someone who knows when to make jokes and when to be serious. He can tell when I'm in a laughing and joking me and can play off that, but can also see when I'm not in the mood to be funny and is sensitive to that.
Relational Aspects
1. Is accepted by my family and friends. If I'm going to spend the rest of my life with him then he should be able to get along with my family and friends (at least my Christian friends). Because if everyone I know disapproves of him and doesn't like him then that's probably a sign that he's not the right guy for me.
2. Someone who really cares about me. Someone who will care enough about me to get to know me and be able to understand me like no one else can. If I'm emotional or feeling something that most people wouldn't understand, but he understands exactly what I'm feeling and is able to help me and make me feel better. Someone who knows exactly what to do to cheer me up, who can predict what I'm going to need before I say it. Someone who knows me better than I know myself sometimes, and is sensitive to my feelings.
3. I am the most important thing in his life (besides God). He should always put me second (after God) and not let his work or anything else come before me. He love every part of me (even the imperfect parts) because it's the way God made me, and God made us for each other. That he won't be disappointed with me if parts of me aren't as good as he hoped they would.
4. Someone who wants me more than anyone else. I want a man who will love me so much that he doesn't care about any other woman in the world. Even if he could have someone who is prettier than me, smarter than me, nicer than me, or whatever he wouldn't. Because to him I'm the best there is, and he loves me just the way I am.
5. Knows a relationship is based on trust. He knows that we have to be able to tell each other the truth no matter what it is. That if he has done something wrong or bad then he can tell me. That he trusts me that I will be understanding and judge the situation appropriately and wont get mad at him unnecessarily.
6. Is protective of me. I want someone who is a little possessive of me; if he sees someone hitting on me or someone being inappropriate with me he will protect me and my honor (if that's not too corny). And he would never let anything or anyone hurt me.
7. Willing to share the work and effort. Someone who doesn't think that I should be the one doing all the work and someone who doesn't take on all the work himself. Because a relationship is made by give and take, and we both need to be willing to do both. And this can apply to any area of the relationship.
8. Is supportive of my goals. I want someone who knows what I want to do and be and is supportive of me. Someone who will encourage me to be my best and do my best and reach everything that I ever wanted and to do it all for God.
9. Is able to hold a conversation. He can talk to me and with me well. When I ask him things its not like pulling teeth or harder then brain surgery for him to respond to me. And he is actually intriguing and engaging. We have a connection where we can talk for hours and not get tired of each others voices. He has interesting conversation and knows how to talk to me best.
10. Be able to handle my Quirky personality. I'm a very spontaneous, crazy at times, random, and maybe even slightly strange person. And I want someone who knows all these things and is ok with them and have with me and the things I like to do.
11. Is willing to do things with me and for me. Even though he may not particularly want to or like to he's willing to do things with me just because he knows I want him to or I want him to be there with me. And if I need him to do something for me he's ok with that because he loves me.
12. Is attractive. I'm not saying you have to be an Orlando Bloom, or a Brad Pitt, or a Justin Timberlake, but I think its reasonable for me to be attracted to him I have a wide variety of the kind of people I'm attracted (looks-wise) so he probably will have a good chance. But in the overall package, looks is truly the last thing I consider because it is the least important in reality.
1. Must be a truly dedicated Christian. He must love God with all his heart, soul, and mind. God has to be number in his life; so that, I will not engulf too much of his life. That way I know the relationship will stay where it's supposed to be when its supposed to be. And as long as we both follow what God is telling us to do, our relationship will go exactly according to God's plan, which is the only plan I have any interest in following. That will make sure the relationship has balance.
2. Able to give Godly advice. Although I'm dedicated to God I do mess up...many many times, and I'm going to need a man who can and will correct me when he sees me straying from a Godly path, and then help keep me on the right path. Kind of like an accountability partner for life. He needs to be wise in the ways of God, and is able to resist the temptations of the world.
3. Is a virgin. If he is truly a Godly Christian he would be a virgin; he would understand how sacred his virginity really is. But he may not have always been that way; therefore, if he is not a virgin but has changed life and doesn't act that way anymore, then all would be completely forgiven and forgotten.
4. Has his own moral standards. I want him to have his own Biblical moral standards that he always follows because he believes them himself, and not just because of me. But because he believes them in his own heart he should also be able to completely defend his beliefs to himself, me, and anyone else. I don't want him to change just for me, just so that I will love him, but because he needs to and God calls him to better himself.
5. Is willing to defend his beliefs when necessary. Now I don't want someone who will start conflicts or disagreements or things like that, but I want someone who knows what he believes and when someone challenges that (if it is important enough) he can and will defend it with all his knowledge and wisdom.
6. Is able to agree on one church. If we don't already go to the same church we must agree on one for each other (and in the future, for our family) because its important for us to be learning about God and growing towards him together not separately. A couple that prays together stays together. (haha)
Personality/Character
1. Have respect for a woman's body. He can't be so rapped up in how hot he thinks I am that he pays no attention to anything else about me. First and foremost he needs to love me for who I am not what I look like.
2. A good listener. Someone who will be willing to sacrifice his own time to just sit there and listen to me if I've had a bad day and need to talk about it. Or if I'm feeling really mad or sad or whatever, and just need to vent to him. He is just willing to sit there for however long I need, to just talk with me or talk to me or just listen to me, whatever I need.
3. A kind person. He should be the kind of person who isn't judgmental towards people, he is friendly with everyone. He's easy to get along with, a personable person. Someone I can feel very comfortable around, and someone who's easy to talk to, easy to relate with.
4. A compassionate and thoughtful person. I'd like him to be the kind of person who will be observant of me and notice when I am sad or lonely or mad and do things for to cheer me up and make me feel better. I'd want him to be the kind of person who will do things for me just because; just because he loves me, just because he was thinking about me, etc.
5. An optimistic person and slow to anger. He should be the kind of person who likes to find the best in a situation, a person, or something. Quick to point out the positives, and to encourage and comfort, and be more supportive. Oh, and definitely he needs to be slow to anger, because (although I try not to) many times I am quick to get upset, or frustrated, and annoyed, and I need him to be able to handle that or calm down the situation. To be able to counteract the situation and help me realize I don't need to get worked up about something. Someone who will be patient with me, and understand my flaws and be willing to work with them.
6. Is a determined person. He should be someone who doesn't give up on things easily, that when he has a goal he goes after it unfailing. He doesn't let frivolous, minor things distract him from his goals. And he will do what's necessary to get what he wants and where he wants to go (as long as God approves of his goal and his methods).
7. Intelligent. I want someone who is smart and educated. Not someone who believes ignorance is bliss, but makes an effort to be informed about the things going on in our world today. And someone who is opinionated where it matters and can defend his opinions well. He doesn't have to be a genius and know everything about everything or anything, but at least someone who will make an effort to be educated in the important issues to a Christian, and is able to discern the good from the evils of the world.
8. Should be able to be spontaneous and fun. I want someone who will be willing to do stuff spontaneously, someone who is not tied down to the restrictions of a schedule can be crazy and fun like me .
9. Funny. Someone who knows me and knows how to make me laugh at any time. Who whenever I'm with him it doesn't matter what we're doing, I'll always be having fun and smiling as long as I'm with him.
10. Can be fun and serious. Someone who knows when to make jokes and when to be serious. He can tell when I'm in a laughing and joking me and can play off that, but can also see when I'm not in the mood to be funny and is sensitive to that.
Relational Aspects
1. Is accepted by my family and friends. If I'm going to spend the rest of my life with him then he should be able to get along with my family and friends (at least my Christian friends). Because if everyone I know disapproves of him and doesn't like him then that's probably a sign that he's not the right guy for me.
2. Someone who really cares about me. Someone who will care enough about me to get to know me and be able to understand me like no one else can. If I'm emotional or feeling something that most people wouldn't understand, but he understands exactly what I'm feeling and is able to help me and make me feel better. Someone who knows exactly what to do to cheer me up, who can predict what I'm going to need before I say it. Someone who knows me better than I know myself sometimes, and is sensitive to my feelings.
3. I am the most important thing in his life (besides God). He should always put me second (after God) and not let his work or anything else come before me. He love every part of me (even the imperfect parts) because it's the way God made me, and God made us for each other. That he won't be disappointed with me if parts of me aren't as good as he hoped they would.
4. Someone who wants me more than anyone else. I want a man who will love me so much that he doesn't care about any other woman in the world. Even if he could have someone who is prettier than me, smarter than me, nicer than me, or whatever he wouldn't. Because to him I'm the best there is, and he loves me just the way I am.
5. Knows a relationship is based on trust. He knows that we have to be able to tell each other the truth no matter what it is. That if he has done something wrong or bad then he can tell me. That he trusts me that I will be understanding and judge the situation appropriately and wont get mad at him unnecessarily.
6. Is protective of me. I want someone who is a little possessive of me; if he sees someone hitting on me or someone being inappropriate with me he will protect me and my honor (if that's not too corny). And he would never let anything or anyone hurt me.
7. Willing to share the work and effort. Someone who doesn't think that I should be the one doing all the work and someone who doesn't take on all the work himself. Because a relationship is made by give and take, and we both need to be willing to do both. And this can apply to any area of the relationship.
8. Is supportive of my goals. I want someone who knows what I want to do and be and is supportive of me. Someone who will encourage me to be my best and do my best and reach everything that I ever wanted and to do it all for God.
9. Is able to hold a conversation. He can talk to me and with me well. When I ask him things its not like pulling teeth or harder then brain surgery for him to respond to me. And he is actually intriguing and engaging. We have a connection where we can talk for hours and not get tired of each others voices. He has interesting conversation and knows how to talk to me best.
10. Be able to handle my Quirky personality. I'm a very spontaneous, crazy at times, random, and maybe even slightly strange person. And I want someone who knows all these things and is ok with them and have with me and the things I like to do.
11. Is willing to do things with me and for me. Even though he may not particularly want to or like to he's willing to do things with me just because he knows I want him to or I want him to be there with me. And if I need him to do something for me he's ok with that because he loves me.
12. Is attractive. I'm not saying you have to be an Orlando Bloom, or a Brad Pitt, or a Justin Timberlake, but I think its reasonable for me to be attracted to him I have a wide variety of the kind of people I'm attracted (looks-wise) so he probably will have a good chance. But in the overall package, looks is truly the last thing I consider because it is the least important in reality.
Thanks for reading
Sincerely,
~MyEssence~
Relationship are soo complited! =/
Ugh! I am like a hopeless romantic. I'm always falling for someone; its a rare occasion when I dont have a crush on someone. But I have like many kinds of crushes. For example, I have a crush on a guy because I just kinda of like him because he's cute and nice (meaning I've actually met him), there's the kind where I actually like a guy because he's cute and I like his personality and stuff (but those are the kind that change all the time), and there are two kinds that are less frivilous, I guess you could say, where I meet a guy and I think that he is really nice and then I look at his future possibilities and I see some qualities I look for (see "My Future Husband" blog) and I start really liking him, but with those kinds of crushes I find after a while some characteristic that makes a relationship impossible. But then there are those guys that I look at over and over and I think I've considered it enough to the point where I can seriously consider him for future possibilities (and all this can happen before I've even told the guy I like him at all). In these cases, I have only found about 3 guys that I have ever truly considered (and recently I've almost completely disqualified my 3 option) but then something always seems to be wrong with them or the situation that wouldnt allow it to work (at least not that I can see now). And this is just soo frustrating, because I'm always looking for that right guy (and yes I know, I'm only 16 I dont need to be thinking about all these things, but I do, I just cant help myself) and the guys always end up disappointing me. I just wish I could have some idea of who I'm gonna marry. Like if I've met him yet, is he going to be white/black? tall/short? anything/something! But thats not how God works, which is just annoying because that just leaves me to hopelessly search for the right guy, being disappointed countless times. When will the carade end??
Thanks for reading
Sincerely,
~MyEssence~
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)