Feelings drive me crazy

Right now I am just blah, because there's a guy I know who is just a friend but he is so amazingly wonderful and he has kinda become my best friend. And since the closest guy friend I've ever had it Im not as used to close guy friends as other girls are. Evertime I think about him I think back at what my Bible teacher once taught in class when he was teaching about marriage and what a good wife & husband look like. He said something to the affect of, just because he's your best friend doesn't mean you can't marry him because that's actually what you want. And obviously I am not talking about now but still he also said that most people get married a little bit after they graduate from highschool or college I don't remeber which. But still I just go over in my head all the time what kind of things that I would want in a husband and this guy fits the discription almost exactly. And also one factor that before I never thought would happen is that, he's not as cute on the outside as I had always thought my dream guy would be but when I think of every thing else about him and then I look at his face he looks absolutely gorgeous. I just can't imagine anyone else being more perfect for me. I also find that I can't get him out of my mind, Im always thinking about him and how wonderful he is, how right now we're just friends and that's all I want it to be right now but it could develop into so much more later and sometimes I just don't know what to do with myself. He just makes me feel like I can take on the world, no matter how bad the situation seems or how many people reject me as long as I have him right there with me everything's gonna be ok. And I've never truly felt this way about any other guy before in my life. And although I'm too young for this but I think I've fallen in love. I don't no what to do, but I think I am, and I've never been happier. When every I even think about him it's like I don't have a care in the world and all my troubles just melt away. And he lives in another city that's hours away, so it's like that whole "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" thing kinda happening here; because I just know that if this relationship is really meant to be, if God really wants me to be with him then God will make it happen. Cause what God wants God gets.

Thanks for reading

Sincerely,

~MyEssence~

Sometimes I make myself go crazy 80

Sometimes (especially as a girl) you can make you self go crazy with emotions. I like this guy as a friend and hopefully potenially as more than that ; ). But I have been temporarily unable to talk to him at all and this is driving me crazy cause all I can do is go every day just thinking about him and how amazing he is and how happy my/our life could be if we were together and how no matter how bad things seemed it happy days would never be too far away with the both of us working to gether. Because we balance each other out like perfectly and it's just to perfect to not be our future. And I am so just overflowed with emotions about him that I really want to tell him. And I know the perfect day but it's soo far away and I can't be completely out of contact with him for that long will go insane if i do. I really think I need him too because there are so many struggles i have in my life and I feel with him by my side all those struggles would no longer exist or at least be a breeze to get through. Now that I have met him and he's in my life there's no way I could image myself without him. And I'm soo filled with emotions I'm about to burst.

Thanks for reading

Sincerely,

~MyEssence~

Love is a CRAZY thing!

Wow, love, it's a crazy thing, so unpredictable, so captivating, so addictive. I mean love is like a force that has the power of a hurricane. It's made many people do some crazy things, "Romeo and Juliet" is exhibit A. Sometimes when you think you've got it figured out, it turns a completely different direction. It's very tricky, sometimes it's very good at hiding it's self; you can't always see it unless you're really looking for it. And sometimes it's just right in front of face and we still can't see it. Sometimes we have it in our grasp and then we just throw it away not realizing what we really had until its gone. And then there are the times where it's with in our reach all we have to do is take it but only at the right time to be able to experience it's full potential. Because if we take it too soon then it will sabatoge the whole thing and if we take it too late, well then we're too late and we've missed our opportunity. And it's those times where people pick the right person at the right time and everything is perfect where you just want to take that moment, and make it last forever. But of course the whole relationship is not perfect, because that's how relationships truly grow, when their tested with trials and tribulations and if they come out of it together, then they also come out stronger and closer together, just further more reassured that their meant for each other.

For me I've taken myself on quite a few emotional roller coasters in my life time. Even if i've never met them, or talked to them, or told them how i feel. Being a girl i can get so emotionally entangled and obssesed with someone before anything even happens. And i create all these cenarios in my mind that fuel these rollercoasters, and it's not until i've gotten myself so my mad that i actually realize that it wasn't real to begin with. Although, there are still those very few times that I have encounterd something real. And when I say few I really mean few. As of right now there are only to people in my entire life that I have ever truly considered as husband material. Which for the most part is a good thing, because if you truly think there husband material then there really shouldn't be a million guys you would consider for that. Because really there is only one person in the whole world that people are completely compatible with. And when i say compatable I don't mean they are perfect in the sense that they totally balance each other out, so that there would be no conflict. Because conflict is healthy for a relationship as i have already stated. But completely compatable in the sense that they can go their entire lives and still love each other and still be together. Now there are cases where that is the case but becuase of the stupidity of the people they let things break that and they lose what could have and should have been a forever relationship, and they doom themselves to forever but subject to periodic relationships. Meaning relationships that will eventually fall apart.

But people really shouldn't make decisioins about love until they get a "go ahead" from the one person who knows exactly who and when we will marry. And of course i'm talking about God. God konws exactly who we're meant to be with and he knows the exact time we will be ready to be with him. And when that time comes we won't even realize it until it's already passed. Thats what is so amazing, because we don't even have to know, because God is the one who controls our lives (as long as we let him). If we choose to just relinquish control to God and, because of the fact that he knows it all and he knows whats best for us, give him complete control of our situation, then you know that your going to end up with the right person at the right time. It's impossible for that not to happen, if you do that. And i am just so excited for the future, excited to see what is going to happen because i know that when you are able to experience to it's full extent the plans that God has for you and your life then it is just so amazing that no words known to man can describe it.

Thanks for reading

Sincerely,

~MyEssence~