Thanks for reading
Sincerely,
~MyEssence~
Saturday, December 20, 2008
My brother's going into the Coast Guard
Well right now is kind of an ackward/happy time (at least for me) because my brother just left this mornig for Coast Guard boot camp that last for 8 weeks and it's the beginning of a new beginning for my brother, becuase he has gone through so much and he has put this family through so much that it's refreshing for this family (especially my mom) to know that one thing is going good and it seems that it is gonna be permanent. My brother has had a lot of problems though his life with my mom he has been in trouble more times then you can count and my mom has hope and prayed for him to somehow, someway find a way to get better. And so many time it seemed hopless and as though he was headed for the street to become a bum. And when he moved out of the house at 18 it seemed that's what was happening. He was living out the story of the Prodigle son but we didn't know yet how it was gonna end. But when he decided to come back this past Mother's day it was like the ultimate present for my mom, and as they had agreed when my brother left coming home ment going to the Coast Guard and my brother finally was willing to accept that and do it. But all his friends thought my mom was forcing this, even though Bryan told them otherwise (because it seemed like the kind of thing she would do). But finally the majority of his friends changed their mind and decided to encourage him (whitch was really what he needed because my brother was obsessed with making sure his friends were happy). And so then he turned a corner and was now excited to leave becaue he wanted to start anew and get on his way to college and a better life. But now that he's gone I'm feeling kind of depressed because him and his friends were the main source of excitement in this house and now that he's gone, his friends obviously are gone too and it's more boring and at least for me casue my other brother is 21 and has a life and can do whatever he wants whenever he wants pretty much. And I'm stuck here being able to do hardly anything. I'm happy for my brother but when he was around the excitement was brought to us but now I feel like I'm strapped down by the schedule paramaters of my parents not able to go out on my own chase down the excitement for myself. But hopefully I will be able to gain as much as possible the trust that I need to be able to attain some measure of the feeling of freedom.
Feelings drive me crazy
Right now I am just blah, because there's a guy I know who is just a friend but he is so amazingly wonderful and he has kinda become my best friend. And since the closest guy friend I've ever had it Im not as used to close guy friends as other girls are. Evertime I think about him I think back at what my Bible teacher once taught in class when he was teaching about marriage and what a good wife & husband look like. He said something to the affect of, just because he's your best friend doesn't mean you can't marry him because that's actually what you want. And obviously I am not talking about now but still he also said that most people get married a little bit after they graduate from highschool or college I don't remeber which. But still I just go over in my head all the time what kind of things that I would want in a husband and this guy fits the discription almost exactly. And also one factor that before I never thought would happen is that, he's not as cute on the outside as I had always thought my dream guy would be but when I think of every thing else about him and then I look at his face he looks absolutely gorgeous. I just can't imagine anyone else being more perfect for me. I also find that I can't get him out of my mind, Im always thinking about him and how wonderful he is, how right now we're just friends and that's all I want it to be right now but it could develop into so much more later and sometimes I just don't know what to do with myself. He just makes me feel like I can take on the world, no matter how bad the situation seems or how many people reject me as long as I have him right there with me everything's gonna be ok. And I've never truly felt this way about any other guy before in my life. And although I'm too young for this but I think I've fallen in love. I don't no what to do, but I think I am, and I've never been happier. When every I even think about him it's like I don't have a care in the world and all my troubles just melt away. And he lives in another city that's hours away, so it's like that whole "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" thing kinda happening here; because I just know that if this relationship is really meant to be, if God really wants me to be with him then God will make it happen. Cause what God wants God gets.
Thanks for reading
Sincerely,
~MyEssence~
Amazing!
Sometimes (especially as a girl) you can make you self go crazy with emotions. I like this guy as a friend and hopefully potenially as more than that ; ). But I have been temporarily unable to talk to him at all and this is driving me crazy cause all I can do is go every day just thinking about him and how amazing he is and how happy my/our life could be if we were together and how no matter how bad things seemed it happy days would never be too far away with the both of us working to gether. Because we balance each other out like perfectly and it's just to perfect to not be our future. And I am so just overflowed with emotions about him that I really want to tell him. And I know the perfect day but it's soo far away and I can't be completely out of contact with him for that long will go insane if i do. I really think I need him too because there are so many struggles i have in my life and I feel with him by my side all those struggles would no longer exist or at least be a breeze to get through. Now that I have met him and he's in my life there's no way I could image myself without him. And I'm soo filled with emotions I'm about to burst.
Thanks for reading
Sincerely,
~MyEssence~
Singing is awesome
Sometimes (especially as a girl) you can make you self go crazy with emotions. I like this guy as a friend and hopefully potenially as more than that ; ). But I have been temporarily unable to talk to him at all and this is driving me crazy cause all I can do is go every day just thinking about him and how amazing he is and how happy my/our life could be if we were together and how no matter how bad things seemed it happy days would never be too far away with the both of us working to gether. Because we balance each other out like perfectly and it's just to perfect to not be our future. And I am so just overflowed with emotions about him that I really want to tell him. And I know the perfect day but it's soo far away and I can't be completely out of contact with him for that long will go insane if i do. I really think I need him too because there are so many struggles i have in my life and I feel with him by my side all those struggles would no longer exist or at least be a breeze to get through. Now that I have met him and he's in my life there's no way I could image myself without him. And I'm soo filled with emotions I'm about to burst.
Thanks for reading
Sincerely,
~MyEssence~
Sometimes I make myself go crazy 80
Sometimes (especially as a girl) you can make you self go crazy with emotions. I like this guy as a friend and hopefully potenially as more than that ; ). But I have been temporarily unable to talk to him at all and this is driving me crazy cause all I can do is go every day just thinking about him and how amazing he is and how happy my/our life could be if we were together and how no matter how bad things seemed it happy days would never be too far away with the both of us working to gether. Because we balance each other out like perfectly and it's just to perfect to not be our future. And I am so just overflowed with emotions about him that I really want to tell him. And I know the perfect day but it's soo far away and I can't be completely out of contact with him for that long will go insane if i do. I really think I need him too because there are so many struggles i have in my life and I feel with him by my side all those struggles would no longer exist or at least be a breeze to get through. Now that I have met him and he's in my life there's no way I could image myself without him. And I'm soo filled with emotions I'm about to burst.
Thanks for reading
Sincerely,
~MyEssence~
Writing saves me
If i didn't have the ability to write I don't know where i'd be right now. Maybe I would be dead, because i have never had any one in my life that i can talk to and vent all my emotions to (and believe me, i have ALOT) and thats a real problem for me because i really need that, badly. So i feel the only way that i can get out all these emotions that i have bottled up inside me is to write them out. And thankfully God has blessed me with this gift and talent and desire to write. And this has really helped me my whole life because i find that as i write out my emotions, then by the time i'm half way finished or by the time i'm done i just feel so much better and calmer, and its like i can actually breathe. It has really been a life saver for me. Because i have so many emotions and so many problems and things that could just get me so depressed and put me into a really dark place that writing is just a way that i'm able to get out all my "demons" in a sense. But when i do find someone i can talk to who is willing to listen to my constant problems and comfort me and stuff (which is really mainly what i need) it will definately surpass anything my writting could do for me. Because people can talk back to you and give you advice and comfort you and wrap their arms around you.
However, though it has taken me a long long time to really grasp this conept, God really can help you as well, when you are in those dark places. Because God's comfort and peace can surpass anything anyone or anything could ever do for you, because everyone in the world has a God-sized whole in their heart that only He can fill, and once i realized that, i was able to allow God to be that comforter to me. And so God was another major factor in my survival. My writing was just a path that would allow me to reach a state of saneness that i could really look at my situation and be calm enough and rational enough to go to God for help. And i just can't thank God enough for all he has done for me over the whole course of my life. He has brought me through so many tramatic and hard times in my life and brought me to be such a completely better person, now i still have a lot of growing left to do but i'm so much better than i was. And that has really been very valuble to me and i really do believe that God is going to use these experiences that i have had to go through and allow me to share my testimony with other people who have experienced similar things. Because God has a special plan for each and every person's life thats on this earth. It's just a matter of us becoming the person that God wants us to be to be able to reach that potential. And i just can wait to see what God is going to do with my life.
However, though it has taken me a long long time to really grasp this conept, God really can help you as well, when you are in those dark places. Because God's comfort and peace can surpass anything anyone or anything could ever do for you, because everyone in the world has a God-sized whole in their heart that only He can fill, and once i realized that, i was able to allow God to be that comforter to me. And so God was another major factor in my survival. My writing was just a path that would allow me to reach a state of saneness that i could really look at my situation and be calm enough and rational enough to go to God for help. And i just can't thank God enough for all he has done for me over the whole course of my life. He has brought me through so many tramatic and hard times in my life and brought me to be such a completely better person, now i still have a lot of growing left to do but i'm so much better than i was. And that has really been very valuble to me and i really do believe that God is going to use these experiences that i have had to go through and allow me to share my testimony with other people who have experienced similar things. Because God has a special plan for each and every person's life thats on this earth. It's just a matter of us becoming the person that God wants us to be to be able to reach that potential. And i just can wait to see what God is going to do with my life.
Thanks for reading
Sincerely,
~MyEssence~
Love is a CRAZY thing!
Wow, love, it's a crazy thing, so unpredictable, so captivating, so addictive. I mean love is like a force that has the power of a hurricane. It's made many people do some crazy things, "Romeo and Juliet" is exhibit A. Sometimes when you think you've got it figured out, it turns a completely different direction. It's very tricky, sometimes it's very good at hiding it's self; you can't always see it unless you're really looking for it. And sometimes it's just right in front of face and we still can't see it. Sometimes we have it in our grasp and then we just throw it away not realizing what we really had until its gone. And then there are the times where it's with in our reach all we have to do is take it but only at the right time to be able to experience it's full potential. Because if we take it too soon then it will sabatoge the whole thing and if we take it too late, well then we're too late and we've missed our opportunity. And it's those times where people pick the right person at the right time and everything is perfect where you just want to take that moment, and make it last forever. But of course the whole relationship is not perfect, because that's how relationships truly grow, when their tested with trials and tribulations and if they come out of it together, then they also come out stronger and closer together, just further more reassured that their meant for each other.
For me I've taken myself on quite a few emotional roller coasters in my life time. Even if i've never met them, or talked to them, or told them how i feel. Being a girl i can get so emotionally entangled and obssesed with someone before anything even happens. And i create all these cenarios in my mind that fuel these rollercoasters, and it's not until i've gotten myself so my mad that i actually realize that it wasn't real to begin with. Although, there are still those very few times that I have encounterd something real. And when I say few I really mean few. As of right now there are only to people in my entire life that I have ever truly considered as husband material. Which for the most part is a good thing, because if you truly think there husband material then there really shouldn't be a million guys you would consider for that. Because really there is only one person in the whole world that people are completely compatible with. And when i say compatable I don't mean they are perfect in the sense that they totally balance each other out, so that there would be no conflict. Because conflict is healthy for a relationship as i have already stated. But completely compatable in the sense that they can go their entire lives and still love each other and still be together. Now there are cases where that is the case but becuase of the stupidity of the people they let things break that and they lose what could have and should have been a forever relationship, and they doom themselves to forever but subject to periodic relationships. Meaning relationships that will eventually fall apart.
But people really shouldn't make decisioins about love until they get a "go ahead" from the one person who knows exactly who and when we will marry. And of course i'm talking about God. God konws exactly who we're meant to be with and he knows the exact time we will be ready to be with him. And when that time comes we won't even realize it until it's already passed. Thats what is so amazing, because we don't even have to know, because God is the one who controls our lives (as long as we let him). If we choose to just relinquish control to God and, because of the fact that he knows it all and he knows whats best for us, give him complete control of our situation, then you know that your going to end up with the right person at the right time. It's impossible for that not to happen, if you do that. And i am just so excited for the future, excited to see what is going to happen because i know that when you are able to experience to it's full extent the plans that God has for you and your life then it is just so amazing that no words known to man can describe it.
For me I've taken myself on quite a few emotional roller coasters in my life time. Even if i've never met them, or talked to them, or told them how i feel. Being a girl i can get so emotionally entangled and obssesed with someone before anything even happens. And i create all these cenarios in my mind that fuel these rollercoasters, and it's not until i've gotten myself so my mad that i actually realize that it wasn't real to begin with. Although, there are still those very few times that I have encounterd something real. And when I say few I really mean few. As of right now there are only to people in my entire life that I have ever truly considered as husband material. Which for the most part is a good thing, because if you truly think there husband material then there really shouldn't be a million guys you would consider for that. Because really there is only one person in the whole world that people are completely compatible with. And when i say compatable I don't mean they are perfect in the sense that they totally balance each other out, so that there would be no conflict. Because conflict is healthy for a relationship as i have already stated. But completely compatable in the sense that they can go their entire lives and still love each other and still be together. Now there are cases where that is the case but becuase of the stupidity of the people they let things break that and they lose what could have and should have been a forever relationship, and they doom themselves to forever but subject to periodic relationships. Meaning relationships that will eventually fall apart.
But people really shouldn't make decisioins about love until they get a "go ahead" from the one person who knows exactly who and when we will marry. And of course i'm talking about God. God konws exactly who we're meant to be with and he knows the exact time we will be ready to be with him. And when that time comes we won't even realize it until it's already passed. Thats what is so amazing, because we don't even have to know, because God is the one who controls our lives (as long as we let him). If we choose to just relinquish control to God and, because of the fact that he knows it all and he knows whats best for us, give him complete control of our situation, then you know that your going to end up with the right person at the right time. It's impossible for that not to happen, if you do that. And i am just so excited for the future, excited to see what is going to happen because i know that when you are able to experience to it's full extent the plans that God has for you and your life then it is just so amazing that no words known to man can describe it.
Thanks for reading
Sincerely,
~MyEssence~
People!
People...the world is full of them. They walk around this vast land in search of...various different things (although most of them useless and futile). And as people live their live ignoring the possible signifacence of the person standing next to them or the person across the room. People do whatever they want because of the sorry excuse of "Hey it’s my life!" when people don’t even have the slightest clue that no matter who you are, no matter how lame, "cool", popular, stupid, retarded, rejected, demented, whatever the things you do, the choices you make, the things you say, the people you hang out with, the way you treat people, everything and anything. Can unknowingly affect anyone who comes to witness of your vain actoins that you believe are insignificant when they can be more significant that you will ever realize.
The world needs to wake up and realize that their lives are not their own, no matter how insignificant they think they are, one simple action can have life long lasting affects of some inocent spectator of your pitiful existence you call a life. A simple action can change a person’s life from "got everything going for ’em" to "a one way ticket to no where." And what’s even more sad is that, PEOPLE DON"T CARE. I mean what kind of heartless, cold, jerk do have to be when you don’t care about the potentially destructive affect you may have on another person’s life. Especially if that person is someone close to you.
And furthermore, the more "important" you are in society the bigger an effect you have on the general public. And the worst part sometimes their the worst of us all. And so a slight miscalculation of a decision can trasform someones life into a hell whole. If you ask me this whole entire world needs a HUGE wake up call, and quick before we’re all spiralling down a dark pit of destruction.
The world needs to wake up and realize that their lives are not their own, no matter how insignificant they think they are, one simple action can have life long lasting affects of some inocent spectator of your pitiful existence you call a life. A simple action can change a person’s life from "got everything going for ’em" to "a one way ticket to no where." And what’s even more sad is that, PEOPLE DON"T CARE. I mean what kind of heartless, cold, jerk do have to be when you don’t care about the potentially destructive affect you may have on another person’s life. Especially if that person is someone close to you.
And furthermore, the more "important" you are in society the bigger an effect you have on the general public. And the worst part sometimes their the worst of us all. And so a slight miscalculation of a decision can trasform someones life into a hell whole. If you ask me this whole entire world needs a HUGE wake up call, and quick before we’re all spiralling down a dark pit of destruction.
Thanks for reading
Sincerely,
~MyEssence~
Rules of Dinning Out
Rules of Dinning Out:
1. If you can afford to go out to eat... But you can't afford to tip... hey.. guess what.. you can't afford to go out to eat.
2. This is 2007 people. 10% is not acceptable anymore... standard tipping for GOOD service is between 18 and 20%...
3. Now, I understand that 10% is good enough for God... That's fine.. but this isn't church.. and you're not tithing.
4. PS- ordering a well done steak... which everyone in the south does... will constitute a longer ticket time. You will be okay. If you wanted fast food, you should have gone through a friggin drive-thru... (Squirrelly note: If you order a filet well done, I will hand you a slim jim and eat the 30 dollar steak myself. Thanks)
5. It's really not necessary to snap at me or wave your hand in the air like you're having a spasm or get up and follow me. I saw you, I acknowledged you, you saw me... hold on and sit the down. I am coming.
6. When I take the time to be courteous and introduce myself... please don't be a rude jerk and cut me off... manners, please.
7. I follow a strict rule that you should never reward bad service with a good tip... however, you should also never punish excellent service with a crappy tip because you're a cheap jerk.
8. Please don't take it out on me because you have had a bad day.. I'm here to make it better. relax.
9. When I deliver your food and ask if there is anything else.. you can tell me... I asked didn't I? Don't get all bent out of shape because I'm not psychic and cannot read your mind.. how the hell am I supposed to know you needed A1?
10. I know sometimes you can't help it, but do you really have to ask for something every single time I walk past the table? I mean really. Jessica Simpson is not even that high-maintenance.
11. Hi. Look around you. You are one of probably twenty people I am waiting on.. Did you happen to notice that? So if you have to wait for a minute.. Be patient.. I promise I will take care of you..
12. Treating a server like a piece of crap and the scum of the earth because we are serving you is the quickest way to get the worst service you ever thought possible.. We are people too and you are no better than me... I don't give a crap what you do.
13. Just think about it like this. Your tip left on the table is how I pay my bills. I am making $2.13 an hour.. So no. I don't get a paycheck. After taxes and claiming tips I'm lucky if I even see one. Remember that next time you decide to be cheap.
14. Last but certainly not least... Don't assume that my job is easier than yours and I am some dumb idiot who can't get a better job. The restaurant business is a fast paced environment with a high stress level. And you don't even see all the things we do behind the scene. So have some respect. I don't come to your office and treat you like crap for sitting on your ass all day do I?? No. I don't.
Repost if you are a server or know a server! or just repost to support servers!
1. If you can afford to go out to eat... But you can't afford to tip... hey.. guess what.. you can't afford to go out to eat.
2. This is 2007 people. 10% is not acceptable anymore... standard tipping for GOOD service is between 18 and 20%...
3. Now, I understand that 10% is good enough for God... That's fine.. but this isn't church.. and you're not tithing.
4. PS- ordering a well done steak... which everyone in the south does... will constitute a longer ticket time. You will be okay. If you wanted fast food, you should have gone through a friggin drive-thru... (Squirrelly note: If you order a filet well done, I will hand you a slim jim and eat the 30 dollar steak myself. Thanks)
5. It's really not necessary to snap at me or wave your hand in the air like you're having a spasm or get up and follow me. I saw you, I acknowledged you, you saw me... hold on and sit the down. I am coming.
6. When I take the time to be courteous and introduce myself... please don't be a rude jerk and cut me off... manners, please.
7. I follow a strict rule that you should never reward bad service with a good tip... however, you should also never punish excellent service with a crappy tip because you're a cheap jerk.
8. Please don't take it out on me because you have had a bad day.. I'm here to make it better. relax.
9. When I deliver your food and ask if there is anything else.. you can tell me... I asked didn't I? Don't get all bent out of shape because I'm not psychic and cannot read your mind.. how the hell am I supposed to know you needed A1?
10. I know sometimes you can't help it, but do you really have to ask for something every single time I walk past the table? I mean really. Jessica Simpson is not even that high-maintenance.
11. Hi. Look around you. You are one of probably twenty people I am waiting on.. Did you happen to notice that? So if you have to wait for a minute.. Be patient.. I promise I will take care of you..
12. Treating a server like a piece of crap and the scum of the earth because we are serving you is the quickest way to get the worst service you ever thought possible.. We are people too and you are no better than me... I don't give a crap what you do.
13. Just think about it like this. Your tip left on the table is how I pay my bills. I am making $2.13 an hour.. So no. I don't get a paycheck. After taxes and claiming tips I'm lucky if I even see one. Remember that next time you decide to be cheap.
14. Last but certainly not least... Don't assume that my job is easier than yours and I am some dumb idiot who can't get a better job. The restaurant business is a fast paced environment with a high stress level. And you don't even see all the things we do behind the scene. So have some respect. I don't come to your office and treat you like crap for sitting on your ass all day do I?? No. I don't.
Repost if you are a server or know a server! or just repost to support servers!
Thanks for reading
Sincerely,
~MyEssnece~
My Future Husband
Main Characteristics
1. Must be a truly dedicated Christian. He must love God with all his heart, soul, and mind. God has to be number in his life; so that, I will not engulf too much of his life. That way I know the relationship will stay where it's supposed to be when its supposed to be. And as long as we both follow what God is telling us to do, our relationship will go exactly according to God's plan, which is the only plan I have any interest in following. That will make sure the relationship has balance.
2. Able to give Godly advice. Although I'm dedicated to God I do mess up...many many times, and I'm going to need a man who can and will correct me when he sees me straying from a Godly path, and then help keep me on the right path. Kind of like an accountability partner for life. He needs to be wise in the ways of God, and is able to resist the temptations of the world.
3. Is a virgin. If he is truly a Godly Christian he would be a virgin; he would understand how sacred his virginity really is. But he may not have always been that way; therefore, if he is not a virgin but has changed life and doesn't act that way anymore, then all would be completely forgiven and forgotten.
4. Has his own moral standards. I want him to have his own Biblical moral standards that he always follows because he believes them himself, and not just because of me. But because he believes them in his own heart he should also be able to completely defend his beliefs to himself, me, and anyone else. I don't want him to change just for me, just so that I will love him, but because he needs to and God calls him to better himself.
5. Is willing to defend his beliefs when necessary. Now I don't want someone who will start conflicts or disagreements or things like that, but I want someone who knows what he believes and when someone challenges that (if it is important enough) he can and will defend it with all his knowledge and wisdom.
6. Is able to agree on one church. If we don't already go to the same church we must agree on one for each other (and in the future, for our family) because its important for us to be learning about God and growing towards him together not separately. A couple that prays together stays together. (haha)
Personality/Character
1. Have respect for a woman's body. He can't be so rapped up in how hot he thinks I am that he pays no attention to anything else about me. First and foremost he needs to love me for who I am not what I look like.
2. A good listener. Someone who will be willing to sacrifice his own time to just sit there and listen to me if I've had a bad day and need to talk about it. Or if I'm feeling really mad or sad or whatever, and just need to vent to him. He is just willing to sit there for however long I need, to just talk with me or talk to me or just listen to me, whatever I need.
3. A kind person. He should be the kind of person who isn't judgmental towards people, he is friendly with everyone. He's easy to get along with, a personable person. Someone I can feel very comfortable around, and someone who's easy to talk to, easy to relate with.
4. A compassionate and thoughtful person. I'd like him to be the kind of person who will be observant of me and notice when I am sad or lonely or mad and do things for to cheer me up and make me feel better. I'd want him to be the kind of person who will do things for me just because; just because he loves me, just because he was thinking about me, etc.
5. An optimistic person and slow to anger. He should be the kind of person who likes to find the best in a situation, a person, or something. Quick to point out the positives, and to encourage and comfort, and be more supportive. Oh, and definitely he needs to be slow to anger, because (although I try not to) many times I am quick to get upset, or frustrated, and annoyed, and I need him to be able to handle that or calm down the situation. To be able to counteract the situation and help me realize I don't need to get worked up about something. Someone who will be patient with me, and understand my flaws and be willing to work with them.
6. Is a determined person. He should be someone who doesn't give up on things easily, that when he has a goal he goes after it unfailing. He doesn't let frivolous, minor things distract him from his goals. And he will do what's necessary to get what he wants and where he wants to go (as long as God approves of his goal and his methods).
7. Intelligent. I want someone who is smart and educated. Not someone who believes ignorance is bliss, but makes an effort to be informed about the things going on in our world today. And someone who is opinionated where it matters and can defend his opinions well. He doesn't have to be a genius and know everything about everything or anything, but at least someone who will make an effort to be educated in the important issues to a Christian, and is able to discern the good from the evils of the world.
8. Should be able to be spontaneous and fun. I want someone who will be willing to do stuff spontaneously, someone who is not tied down to the restrictions of a schedule can be crazy and fun like me .
9. Funny. Someone who knows me and knows how to make me laugh at any time. Who whenever I'm with him it doesn't matter what we're doing, I'll always be having fun and smiling as long as I'm with him.
10. Can be fun and serious. Someone who knows when to make jokes and when to be serious. He can tell when I'm in a laughing and joking me and can play off that, but can also see when I'm not in the mood to be funny and is sensitive to that.
Relational Aspects
1. Is accepted by my family and friends. If I'm going to spend the rest of my life with him then he should be able to get along with my family and friends (at least my Christian friends). Because if everyone I know disapproves of him and doesn't like him then that's probably a sign that he's not the right guy for me.
2. Someone who really cares about me. Someone who will care enough about me to get to know me and be able to understand me like no one else can. If I'm emotional or feeling something that most people wouldn't understand, but he understands exactly what I'm feeling and is able to help me and make me feel better. Someone who knows exactly what to do to cheer me up, who can predict what I'm going to need before I say it. Someone who knows me better than I know myself sometimes, and is sensitive to my feelings.
3. I am the most important thing in his life (besides God). He should always put me second (after God) and not let his work or anything else come before me. He love every part of me (even the imperfect parts) because it's the way God made me, and God made us for each other. That he won't be disappointed with me if parts of me aren't as good as he hoped they would.
4. Someone who wants me more than anyone else. I want a man who will love me so much that he doesn't care about any other woman in the world. Even if he could have someone who is prettier than me, smarter than me, nicer than me, or whatever he wouldn't. Because to him I'm the best there is, and he loves me just the way I am.
5. Knows a relationship is based on trust. He knows that we have to be able to tell each other the truth no matter what it is. That if he has done something wrong or bad then he can tell me. That he trusts me that I will be understanding and judge the situation appropriately and wont get mad at him unnecessarily.
6. Is protective of me. I want someone who is a little possessive of me; if he sees someone hitting on me or someone being inappropriate with me he will protect me and my honor (if that's not too corny). And he would never let anything or anyone hurt me.
7. Willing to share the work and effort. Someone who doesn't think that I should be the one doing all the work and someone who doesn't take on all the work himself. Because a relationship is made by give and take, and we both need to be willing to do both. And this can apply to any area of the relationship.
8. Is supportive of my goals. I want someone who knows what I want to do and be and is supportive of me. Someone who will encourage me to be my best and do my best and reach everything that I ever wanted and to do it all for God.
9. Is able to hold a conversation. He can talk to me and with me well. When I ask him things its not like pulling teeth or harder then brain surgery for him to respond to me. And he is actually intriguing and engaging. We have a connection where we can talk for hours and not get tired of each others voices. He has interesting conversation and knows how to talk to me best.
10. Be able to handle my Quirky personality. I'm a very spontaneous, crazy at times, random, and maybe even slightly strange person. And I want someone who knows all these things and is ok with them and have with me and the things I like to do.
11. Is willing to do things with me and for me. Even though he may not particularly want to or like to he's willing to do things with me just because he knows I want him to or I want him to be there with me. And if I need him to do something for me he's ok with that because he loves me.
12. Is attractive. I'm not saying you have to be an Orlando Bloom, or a Brad Pitt, or a Justin Timberlake, but I think its reasonable for me to be attracted to him I have a wide variety of the kind of people I'm attracted (looks-wise) so he probably will have a good chance. But in the overall package, looks is truly the last thing I consider because it is the least important in reality.
1. Must be a truly dedicated Christian. He must love God with all his heart, soul, and mind. God has to be number in his life; so that, I will not engulf too much of his life. That way I know the relationship will stay where it's supposed to be when its supposed to be. And as long as we both follow what God is telling us to do, our relationship will go exactly according to God's plan, which is the only plan I have any interest in following. That will make sure the relationship has balance.
2. Able to give Godly advice. Although I'm dedicated to God I do mess up...many many times, and I'm going to need a man who can and will correct me when he sees me straying from a Godly path, and then help keep me on the right path. Kind of like an accountability partner for life. He needs to be wise in the ways of God, and is able to resist the temptations of the world.
3. Is a virgin. If he is truly a Godly Christian he would be a virgin; he would understand how sacred his virginity really is. But he may not have always been that way; therefore, if he is not a virgin but has changed life and doesn't act that way anymore, then all would be completely forgiven and forgotten.
4. Has his own moral standards. I want him to have his own Biblical moral standards that he always follows because he believes them himself, and not just because of me. But because he believes them in his own heart he should also be able to completely defend his beliefs to himself, me, and anyone else. I don't want him to change just for me, just so that I will love him, but because he needs to and God calls him to better himself.
5. Is willing to defend his beliefs when necessary. Now I don't want someone who will start conflicts or disagreements or things like that, but I want someone who knows what he believes and when someone challenges that (if it is important enough) he can and will defend it with all his knowledge and wisdom.
6. Is able to agree on one church. If we don't already go to the same church we must agree on one for each other (and in the future, for our family) because its important for us to be learning about God and growing towards him together not separately. A couple that prays together stays together. (haha)
Personality/Character
1. Have respect for a woman's body. He can't be so rapped up in how hot he thinks I am that he pays no attention to anything else about me. First and foremost he needs to love me for who I am not what I look like.
2. A good listener. Someone who will be willing to sacrifice his own time to just sit there and listen to me if I've had a bad day and need to talk about it. Or if I'm feeling really mad or sad or whatever, and just need to vent to him. He is just willing to sit there for however long I need, to just talk with me or talk to me or just listen to me, whatever I need.
3. A kind person. He should be the kind of person who isn't judgmental towards people, he is friendly with everyone. He's easy to get along with, a personable person. Someone I can feel very comfortable around, and someone who's easy to talk to, easy to relate with.
4. A compassionate and thoughtful person. I'd like him to be the kind of person who will be observant of me and notice when I am sad or lonely or mad and do things for to cheer me up and make me feel better. I'd want him to be the kind of person who will do things for me just because; just because he loves me, just because he was thinking about me, etc.
5. An optimistic person and slow to anger. He should be the kind of person who likes to find the best in a situation, a person, or something. Quick to point out the positives, and to encourage and comfort, and be more supportive. Oh, and definitely he needs to be slow to anger, because (although I try not to) many times I am quick to get upset, or frustrated, and annoyed, and I need him to be able to handle that or calm down the situation. To be able to counteract the situation and help me realize I don't need to get worked up about something. Someone who will be patient with me, and understand my flaws and be willing to work with them.
6. Is a determined person. He should be someone who doesn't give up on things easily, that when he has a goal he goes after it unfailing. He doesn't let frivolous, minor things distract him from his goals. And he will do what's necessary to get what he wants and where he wants to go (as long as God approves of his goal and his methods).
7. Intelligent. I want someone who is smart and educated. Not someone who believes ignorance is bliss, but makes an effort to be informed about the things going on in our world today. And someone who is opinionated where it matters and can defend his opinions well. He doesn't have to be a genius and know everything about everything or anything, but at least someone who will make an effort to be educated in the important issues to a Christian, and is able to discern the good from the evils of the world.
8. Should be able to be spontaneous and fun. I want someone who will be willing to do stuff spontaneously, someone who is not tied down to the restrictions of a schedule can be crazy and fun like me .
9. Funny. Someone who knows me and knows how to make me laugh at any time. Who whenever I'm with him it doesn't matter what we're doing, I'll always be having fun and smiling as long as I'm with him.
10. Can be fun and serious. Someone who knows when to make jokes and when to be serious. He can tell when I'm in a laughing and joking me and can play off that, but can also see when I'm not in the mood to be funny and is sensitive to that.
Relational Aspects
1. Is accepted by my family and friends. If I'm going to spend the rest of my life with him then he should be able to get along with my family and friends (at least my Christian friends). Because if everyone I know disapproves of him and doesn't like him then that's probably a sign that he's not the right guy for me.
2. Someone who really cares about me. Someone who will care enough about me to get to know me and be able to understand me like no one else can. If I'm emotional or feeling something that most people wouldn't understand, but he understands exactly what I'm feeling and is able to help me and make me feel better. Someone who knows exactly what to do to cheer me up, who can predict what I'm going to need before I say it. Someone who knows me better than I know myself sometimes, and is sensitive to my feelings.
3. I am the most important thing in his life (besides God). He should always put me second (after God) and not let his work or anything else come before me. He love every part of me (even the imperfect parts) because it's the way God made me, and God made us for each other. That he won't be disappointed with me if parts of me aren't as good as he hoped they would.
4. Someone who wants me more than anyone else. I want a man who will love me so much that he doesn't care about any other woman in the world. Even if he could have someone who is prettier than me, smarter than me, nicer than me, or whatever he wouldn't. Because to him I'm the best there is, and he loves me just the way I am.
5. Knows a relationship is based on trust. He knows that we have to be able to tell each other the truth no matter what it is. That if he has done something wrong or bad then he can tell me. That he trusts me that I will be understanding and judge the situation appropriately and wont get mad at him unnecessarily.
6. Is protective of me. I want someone who is a little possessive of me; if he sees someone hitting on me or someone being inappropriate with me he will protect me and my honor (if that's not too corny). And he would never let anything or anyone hurt me.
7. Willing to share the work and effort. Someone who doesn't think that I should be the one doing all the work and someone who doesn't take on all the work himself. Because a relationship is made by give and take, and we both need to be willing to do both. And this can apply to any area of the relationship.
8. Is supportive of my goals. I want someone who knows what I want to do and be and is supportive of me. Someone who will encourage me to be my best and do my best and reach everything that I ever wanted and to do it all for God.
9. Is able to hold a conversation. He can talk to me and with me well. When I ask him things its not like pulling teeth or harder then brain surgery for him to respond to me. And he is actually intriguing and engaging. We have a connection where we can talk for hours and not get tired of each others voices. He has interesting conversation and knows how to talk to me best.
10. Be able to handle my Quirky personality. I'm a very spontaneous, crazy at times, random, and maybe even slightly strange person. And I want someone who knows all these things and is ok with them and have with me and the things I like to do.
11. Is willing to do things with me and for me. Even though he may not particularly want to or like to he's willing to do things with me just because he knows I want him to or I want him to be there with me. And if I need him to do something for me he's ok with that because he loves me.
12. Is attractive. I'm not saying you have to be an Orlando Bloom, or a Brad Pitt, or a Justin Timberlake, but I think its reasonable for me to be attracted to him I have a wide variety of the kind of people I'm attracted (looks-wise) so he probably will have a good chance. But in the overall package, looks is truly the last thing I consider because it is the least important in reality.
Thanks for reading
Sincerely,
~MyEssence~
Relationship are soo complited! =/
Ugh! I am like a hopeless romantic. I'm always falling for someone; its a rare occasion when I dont have a crush on someone. But I have like many kinds of crushes. For example, I have a crush on a guy because I just kinda of like him because he's cute and nice (meaning I've actually met him), there's the kind where I actually like a guy because he's cute and I like his personality and stuff (but those are the kind that change all the time), and there are two kinds that are less frivilous, I guess you could say, where I meet a guy and I think that he is really nice and then I look at his future possibilities and I see some qualities I look for (see "My Future Husband" blog) and I start really liking him, but with those kinds of crushes I find after a while some characteristic that makes a relationship impossible. But then there are those guys that I look at over and over and I think I've considered it enough to the point where I can seriously consider him for future possibilities (and all this can happen before I've even told the guy I like him at all). In these cases, I have only found about 3 guys that I have ever truly considered (and recently I've almost completely disqualified my 3 option) but then something always seems to be wrong with them or the situation that wouldnt allow it to work (at least not that I can see now). And this is just soo frustrating, because I'm always looking for that right guy (and yes I know, I'm only 16 I dont need to be thinking about all these things, but I do, I just cant help myself) and the guys always end up disappointing me. I just wish I could have some idea of who I'm gonna marry. Like if I've met him yet, is he going to be white/black? tall/short? anything/something! But thats not how God works, which is just annoying because that just leaves me to hopelessly search for the right guy, being disappointed countless times. When will the carade end??
Thanks for reading
Sincerely,
~MyEssence~
Life's Rough...And?
Every year, every month, every week, every day, every hour, minute, even second people all over the world are hurting. Someone's hurting about one thing another is hurting about something different. But the fact is, we all have problems, we all have pain, we all go through countless adversities thoughout our lives. This world is just filled with people with issues, and these issues range from countless varieties. And we walk by these people everyday. At school, on the street, at church, at home, everywhere. But you cant always tell the people that have issues. Sometimes the people with the worst problems have the most pleasant happy exterior. They are the people with the amazing jobs, the people with tons of friends, the people with beauty, power, money, the people who look the least likely to have any issues. But the truth is we dont know. Not untill we find out for ourselves. But as I've already said, the world is full of people with pain, and we cant know everyone.
So what do we do? We go everyday and pass countless people with pain and struggles that we dont have the slightest clue about. We cant just sit down with every person and ask them about their problems. Well I'll tell you what you can do. You can just take advantage of every opportunity you do have to reach out to the people you already know. Pretty much everyone has friends right? And we normally talk to our friends on a regular basis right? Well when you talk to your friends listen to what they say, but I mean really listen. You may hear things you normally miss. Sometimes your friends may mention a problem they are facing, or an issue their going through, but you may not hear that or may just not want to deal with their problems. Maybe you have your own problems, or you just dont want to have to get involved with their issues. But you never know that issue really goes. Sometimes when a person is going through some really hard times all they need is someone to care and someone to listen to them. Just doing that can sometimes make all the difference.
People who can look past their own adversities, and problems they may be facing themselves, and are able to just set that aside to reach out to someone else in desparate need of a friend is an extremely remarkable person. Sometimes people are just so absorbed in their own issues that they forget to care about other's problmes. But the people who can be carrying the world on their shoulders but turn around to care about someone else and seek to comfort and aid them in their situation, that is the mark of a true hero. If there were more people like that in this world, people who cared about others more than themselves, this world would be a much much better place.
So the next time you are talking to someone, and you can tell that they are going through some problems; dont just ignore it and act like you didnt hear that. Put aside your own problems for a few minutes and take some time to reach out to someone else who may be in pain as well.
How do you change the world? One person at a time....
So what do we do? We go everyday and pass countless people with pain and struggles that we dont have the slightest clue about. We cant just sit down with every person and ask them about their problems. Well I'll tell you what you can do. You can just take advantage of every opportunity you do have to reach out to the people you already know. Pretty much everyone has friends right? And we normally talk to our friends on a regular basis right? Well when you talk to your friends listen to what they say, but I mean really listen. You may hear things you normally miss. Sometimes your friends may mention a problem they are facing, or an issue their going through, but you may not hear that or may just not want to deal with their problems. Maybe you have your own problems, or you just dont want to have to get involved with their issues. But you never know that issue really goes. Sometimes when a person is going through some really hard times all they need is someone to care and someone to listen to them. Just doing that can sometimes make all the difference.
People who can look past their own adversities, and problems they may be facing themselves, and are able to just set that aside to reach out to someone else in desparate need of a friend is an extremely remarkable person. Sometimes people are just so absorbed in their own issues that they forget to care about other's problmes. But the people who can be carrying the world on their shoulders but turn around to care about someone else and seek to comfort and aid them in their situation, that is the mark of a true hero. If there were more people like that in this world, people who cared about others more than themselves, this world would be a much much better place.
So the next time you are talking to someone, and you can tell that they are going through some problems; dont just ignore it and act like you didnt hear that. Put aside your own problems for a few minutes and take some time to reach out to someone else who may be in pain as well.
How do you change the world? One person at a time....
Thanks for reading =)
Sincerely,
~MyEssence~
Boys...UGH!
Ok, the only reason I'm writting this is because i know im not the only girl who feels this way. And who knows maybe there are some guys who feel this way too.
Well, as for me, i know that i am a hopeless romantic. Im always getting crushes on guys. Most of them are never serious enough for me to actually do anything about it, but still. But part of being little crushes is they are usually mumerous. And they end for one reason or another. And it is just soo frustrating sometimes. Like after you like someone, and then it ends your like, "What on earth did i see in him?" And sometimes it just gets soo frustrating.
And so as a result, sometimes we think, "You know forget boys im just going to be perfectly content with being single. Im not going to crush on any guys. Im not gonna think about them all the time, its just going to be me, my girls, and God." But then..dun dun dun duuuuh..here comes a boy who is so cute or nice or funny or whatever you like about him. And against your inistincts you start liking him. And what would make it worse is if he acted like he likes you too. (Notice i sed "acted" which implies not neccesarily he does) And then you spend the next few days, weeks, months, however long it is, just thinking about him, day-dreaming and what-not. But then BAMS! something happens and now all of a sudden, you dont like him anymore. Maybe he did something or you did something, and your mad at him or your embarrassed or something like that, and now, lskjdflas, the crush is no more. And your left feeling disapointed and frustrated at the fact that you fell for antother guy, and just like all the rest, it went sour like 20 warheads shoved in your mouth at once. Yah i know. And know you think to yourself, "UGH! Why the heck did i do that, i knew this was going to happen"
And then you re-dedicate that your going to be content with being single and what-not. But in the back of your head your thinking, "Yeah right" And then you just go on with your life waiting for you to do it all over again.
Now i know some of you may have a little different scenario or feel differently. But still if some of you read this and are just thinking, "Mmmmh, i know thats right" "Amen sister" "You said it" "I KNOW!" just feel free to comment and say that. Cause i'll feel a little better about posting this if i know im not the only one who goes through this kinda stuff. lol
Well, as for me, i know that i am a hopeless romantic. Im always getting crushes on guys. Most of them are never serious enough for me to actually do anything about it, but still. But part of being little crushes is they are usually mumerous. And they end for one reason or another. And it is just soo frustrating sometimes. Like after you like someone, and then it ends your like, "What on earth did i see in him?" And sometimes it just gets soo frustrating.
And so as a result, sometimes we think, "You know forget boys im just going to be perfectly content with being single. Im not going to crush on any guys. Im not gonna think about them all the time, its just going to be me, my girls, and God." But then..dun dun dun duuuuh..here comes a boy who is so cute or nice or funny or whatever you like about him. And against your inistincts you start liking him. And what would make it worse is if he acted like he likes you too. (Notice i sed "acted" which implies not neccesarily he does) And then you spend the next few days, weeks, months, however long it is, just thinking about him, day-dreaming and what-not. But then BAMS! something happens and now all of a sudden, you dont like him anymore. Maybe he did something or you did something, and your mad at him or your embarrassed or something like that, and now, lskjdflas, the crush is no more. And your left feeling disapointed and frustrated at the fact that you fell for antother guy, and just like all the rest, it went sour like 20 warheads shoved in your mouth at once. Yah i know. And know you think to yourself, "UGH! Why the heck did i do that, i knew this was going to happen"
And then you re-dedicate that your going to be content with being single and what-not. But in the back of your head your thinking, "Yeah right" And then you just go on with your life waiting for you to do it all over again.
Now i know some of you may have a little different scenario or feel differently. But still if some of you read this and are just thinking, "Mmmmh, i know thats right" "Amen sister" "You said it" "I KNOW!" just feel free to comment and say that. Cause i'll feel a little better about posting this if i know im not the only one who goes through this kinda stuff. lol
Thanks for reading
Sincerely,
~MyEssence~
This is MyEssence...Whats yours??
MyEssence...A year ago or so i created this word for myself, mainly as a name for my myspace and facebook and other stuff like that. But as time has passed i've started to realize that it represents alot more than just that. MyEssence represents a fundamental principle that everyone should apply to their own lives.
MyEssence means exactly what it says, My-Essence, its the essence of you, of who you are, its whatever you want it to be. But its you. Not MTV or BET or VH1 or the style channel or magazines or anything else like that. Just you. And too many times we try to define ourselves by the things we watch, the clothes we wear, the music we listen to, things we say, or the way we act so that people will think we're "cool." But thats the worst thing we can possibly do. Because everyone in the world is special, and has something about them that makes them amazing. And when we choose to be someone else just to impress or please others, we're covering up the best part of ourselves, the part that everyone needs to see.
It shouldnt be our goal to be like the "cool" people, to act like they do, talk like they do, dress like they do, even think like they do. Our goal should be to be ourselves, to show the world how we really are and let them know that even though we may different then them, we're still pretty freaking awesome. Because if everyone tried to conform to be the same in order to be "cool," then the world would be a pretty boring place. Thats why God gave us our individuality, He gave everyone their own unique qualities. But the media tries to make us think that our uniqueness is not unique at all, its uncool, lame, retarded, old, stupid; they make us feel bad about ourrself so we'll do whatever we can to be more like them. And most of the time their trying to sell you something that you honestly dont need. But the problem is we buy it, everything. We believe them when they tell us we need to change to be "cool," we have to be more like them. So we throw away our perfectly amazing personalities and buy everything they sell us in the desperate hope to be "cool," to be liked, loved, accepted, noticed, wanted. But we really need to know that we dont need to do that. That we are perfectly fine the way we are, and that God did nto make us retarded or stupid, we are fearfully and wonderfully made. And we can be loved, noticed, wanted, accepted just the way we are. And anyone that tells us otherwise is not someone we should want to be noticed by anyways. In fact, we should feel sorry for those who feel like they have to be these embodiment of all that is "cool" in order to be loved, because they are obviously very insecure about themselves that they feel that just being themselves isnt enough. Well im here to tell you, IT IS ENOUGH! And especially with this whole cool thing, thats just a word that they created to real people in to become their little robots. Cool can be anything. Everyone is cool in their own way. No one is the same but everyone can still be cool inspite of that. And that is the best part.
So next time you find yourself being tempted to conform to someone else or something else that is supposedly "cool" Just stop and say to yourself. "Forget that! I'm already cool, and if you dont think so, then i dont care. THIS IS MYESSENCE, GO GET YOUR OWN!!!"
P.S.
If you really liked this blog, feel free to tell people about it, because i know there are alot of people who could benefit from this msg.
MyEssence means exactly what it says, My-Essence, its the essence of you, of who you are, its whatever you want it to be. But its you. Not MTV or BET or VH1 or the style channel or magazines or anything else like that. Just you. And too many times we try to define ourselves by the things we watch, the clothes we wear, the music we listen to, things we say, or the way we act so that people will think we're "cool." But thats the worst thing we can possibly do. Because everyone in the world is special, and has something about them that makes them amazing. And when we choose to be someone else just to impress or please others, we're covering up the best part of ourselves, the part that everyone needs to see.
It shouldnt be our goal to be like the "cool" people, to act like they do, talk like they do, dress like they do, even think like they do. Our goal should be to be ourselves, to show the world how we really are and let them know that even though we may different then them, we're still pretty freaking awesome. Because if everyone tried to conform to be the same in order to be "cool," then the world would be a pretty boring place. Thats why God gave us our individuality, He gave everyone their own unique qualities. But the media tries to make us think that our uniqueness is not unique at all, its uncool, lame, retarded, old, stupid; they make us feel bad about ourrself so we'll do whatever we can to be more like them. And most of the time their trying to sell you something that you honestly dont need. But the problem is we buy it, everything. We believe them when they tell us we need to change to be "cool," we have to be more like them. So we throw away our perfectly amazing personalities and buy everything they sell us in the desperate hope to be "cool," to be liked, loved, accepted, noticed, wanted. But we really need to know that we dont need to do that. That we are perfectly fine the way we are, and that God did nto make us retarded or stupid, we are fearfully and wonderfully made. And we can be loved, noticed, wanted, accepted just the way we are. And anyone that tells us otherwise is not someone we should want to be noticed by anyways. In fact, we should feel sorry for those who feel like they have to be these embodiment of all that is "cool" in order to be loved, because they are obviously very insecure about themselves that they feel that just being themselves isnt enough. Well im here to tell you, IT IS ENOUGH! And especially with this whole cool thing, thats just a word that they created to real people in to become their little robots. Cool can be anything. Everyone is cool in their own way. No one is the same but everyone can still be cool inspite of that. And that is the best part.
So next time you find yourself being tempted to conform to someone else or something else that is supposedly "cool" Just stop and say to yourself. "Forget that! I'm already cool, and if you dont think so, then i dont care. THIS IS MYESSENCE, GO GET YOUR OWN!!!"
P.S.
If you really liked this blog, feel free to tell people about it, because i know there are alot of people who could benefit from this msg.
Thanks for reading
Sincerely,
~MyEssence~
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